Strain Review of Head Banger from HBB Medical Inc.

Purchase Date: May 20, 2016       

Strain: Head Banger

Hybrid 50/50   1g

Cost $9

CBD 0%

THC 22.1%

Look of Bud: A plump bud that weighed exactly 1gram with only a few long orange hairs. The larger trichomes are fairly abundant making a slightly higher than medium amount of frost.

Smell of Bud: First I detected a piney/woody smell that was earthy and warm. The lightest note is best described as diesel.

Taste of Bud: Yes I ate raw bud. It’s actually good for you. Gives you those cannabinoids that still contain the acid chain attached (CBDA, THCA, etc) and have health promoting benefits all on their own. (I’ll eventually discuss this in another blog post-it’s on my “To Blog” list).

As with the smell there was no one overpowering taste to this strain. A slight Diesel taste mixed with the generalness of eating vegetation. Not an unpleasant taste at all. (Though I’d not recommend chewing much bud as the trichomes do like to stick to your teeth leaving a gummy feel)

Handling of Bud: Bud moisture was good. Not as moist as the Champagne I review earlier this month. I did do what the Budtender at HBB Medical recommended though, I removed the buds from their packaging and let it sit in a dark glass jar to air a bit before I was ready to use it. When it came time to grind it up I was very happy with the result. I rolled some into a lovely long slim blunt and it handled just like it should, dry enough to not bunch up in the grinder, but sticky enough to stay packed while hand rolling (not my strong suit). 

Burn and Effect:

Blunt: As I mentioned above the flower rolled well into a hand rolled blunt because it was sticky enough to hold together as I manipulated the stuff. She burned slow and did not need to be relit, a rarity for me. The effect for me was pleasant. I didn’t feel particularly high but rather happy and relaxed. I did notice the friends I shared with demonstrated more paranoia, but that may have been because neither of them are medically legal as I am. (Admittedly, I may have too little fear cuz I don’t know better as I’ve only known “legal”)

Bong: Its unfortunate but my first reaction is to want to cough due to the peppery effect of this strain. I’m also not a big smoker so those of you who do smoke more might not have such a big reaction. The smoke is good a milky cloud. I feel its effects almost right away. A cerebral high that is causing me to loose a bit of focus because there are so many other senses of mine being stimulated right now as I type this on my deck this gorgeous Sunday afternoon in May. So CREATIVITY IS BOOSTED! YAY. I love that! P.S. I’ve only smoked half the bowl and feeling fine! Interestingly, I did not experience the dry eye effect after smoking the bong like I did after vaping. I'm wondering if my eyes were dry from the vents blowing in my car instead...? Not to be forgotten, ash was white right through. 

Vape: First taste from the vape was diesel, than came the woody, earthy flavour. The inhale left a peppery feel in my throat that tickled a bit. There is a slight lemony note in the taste as well. The cerebral effects were very pleasant. I had a general overall sensation of wellness with no sharp turns into feeling high. I can’t say I felt it coming on or leaving but I defiantly felt emotionally light and happy.  I was not prone to navel gazing or ruminating on past or future like some high indicas can do to me. The downside came on about an hour after inhalation. Major dry eyes! Easily solved if ya got some drops with you (which I didn’t!).

Grade: 

My grade scale will be out of five. A point per category listed above with 0, .5, 1 as possible scores.

I give Head Banger from HBB Medical Inc. a  4.5/ 5 

Look:  1

Smell:  0.5

Handling:  1

Burn:  1

Effect: 1

Weight Accuracy: I actually purchased two grams of this and decided to weigh the contents of both packages individually. Both were exactly 1 gram on a scale that weighs to 0.01g. Thumbs up guys and gals! 

Last Notes: I was specific in my purchase this time as I had a special event this weekend. Three ladies out on the town looking for some fun. Dinner and a comedy show out of town, so I wanted something that would give us a happy mood but not make us anxious in public, nor sleepy cuz I was driving an hour there and back. I asked for a 50/50 Indica/Sativa hybrid mix and Mr. B pointed me right to two strains in the showcase. Head Banger and Tahoe. The only reason I choose one over the other was because I had heard the name before. I wasn’t disappointed. 

I never felt lethargic or muddled the whole night. Was able to navigate new streets with ease, feel relaxed in a new situation in a new city, in a dive of a bar. It was sketchy but I felt at ease and capable of handling an event I’d normally not even entertain attending. It was the perfect choice for a night out with friends. A perfect day strain. It would probably be great for doing any kind of creative activity as well. Over all, I love this strain. I’d chose it again.

Correction: I want to mention again the topic of moisture in the bud that I paid so much attention to in my first review. When I stopped by HBB Medical Mr. C was kind enough to educate me in the fine timing of curing. And I fully admit to still being Newbie enough to not know everything. Remember, my only experience so far is getting perfectly cured bud from LP’s in plastic jars with air tight sealing. So I’m willing and wanting to learn from anyone, even my mistakes. So hopefully I can correctly retell what I think he was telling me. 

When HBB packages their product it is done so when the moisture is such that the trichomes are not so brittle that they crush easily. It is recommended that after purchase you store your bud in a dark glass jar (or similar). I did this and the product was better only a few hours later. 

I’ve asked the guys to feel free to comment below the first review and describe what he told me in person. Hopefully one of them will get around to it, as my desire is to learn myself, but educate others as well. And if I’ve made a mistake in something I’ve conveyed here I’d love it if someone out there who knows I’m wrong would correct me. I’d hate to think I’m spreading false information when false information is what we are trying to get away from as we as a Country work on legalizing. 

Follow Up on AVB Recipe from Merry Jane

Today marked one month from the time I began the AVB oil steeping in my bedroom closet. Nothing planned today at all so I thought a month was long enough to brew. At lunch I pulled out the jar and buttered my bread with the back of the spoon dipped in the dirty oil for a grilled cheese. Wasn’t enough to feel anything, as I suspected. 

I called it dirty oil there for a reason. As described in the previous blog on how to make this THC rich oil I added Already Vaped Bud to olive oil. The Bud was light to medium brown and brittle from being toasted at the perfect temperature in the oven of my Pax Vape. That now soaked in oil is just as delicate to pressure as it was dry, only not so easy to strain out of oil now. So the dark green brown oil that is the result also has all the bud. Most sunk to the bottom of the jar, but about 10% seems to be suspended throughout the oil. Trying to skim oil off the top is pretty impossible without plant material clinging to the spoon or slipping into the round of the spoon itself. So, it looks like dirty oil. Gross but not unpalatable. My grilled cheese had bits of bud after cooking. I didn't notice them when I ate. In this case the crunch of the oil fried bread matched the texture with the brittle cooked bud. And although yummy, alas there was no buzz to indicate I medicated enough.


Several hours later I was able to try again at dinner. This time I measured out exactly 1 Tablespoon of AVB oil into the small fry pan and cooked my steak strips, then the veggies, and lastly mixed together and flavoured with asian sauces. I made my families dinner exactly the same but with regular oil in a larger pan and at the same time. Again the texture of the dirty AVB oil was hidden with the multiple textures of the stir fry and rice on my plate. The subtle taste of the earthy cannabis terpenes mixed well with the soya sauce, sesame oil and beef. It was a good meal. 

It was a bit longer for this high to kick in for me than usual compared to when I eat my morning dose in brownie or cookie form. I have to take into consideration that this is an entirely different mix of strains coming from my Vape. So this oil has a completely different high for me than my brownie high. When I make Canna-Coconut Oil I mix a high CBD, an Indica and a Sativa, in roughly thirds. But when I vape it’s usually day time so ALL the AVB is only high CBD and Satvia. No Indica at all. So this is pretty much the highest head high I’ve ever had. One Tablespoon it is for my dosage. And perhaps, given that my AVB oil is Sativa I may change my medication habits and cook breakfast with this oil and save the cookies for later in the day when I should be winding down. 

This is what my oil looks like now. Most of the bud sinks to the bottom, when I get down that far I will carefully strain off the oil through a sieve, cuz no one wants THAT much bud in their food! Top floaty bud is not a bother but could be strained off by spooning it through a small sieve right back into the jar.

Did you start collecting your AVB yet? If not you should start! It’s like getting twice the weed for half the money! I just grabbed a clean glass jam jar and keep it on my desk next to the Pax charger. This is where I store the already vaped bud, in a clean air tight jar instead of the garbage. Usually I dump the bud after a few uses, when the green turns a light toasted brown colour. If you toast it too dark there won't be any THC left to get absorbed into the oil. If you vape regularly you will get used to how long it takes you to toast the bud to get enough medicine then, but still have a lightly toasted bud to soak in oil for more medicating later.

Any questions? Anything you would like me to try? Got a recipe I could blog about? Lets make this interactive!

Happy Medicating everyone.

Getting High WITH Hubby?!?!

Well! If I thought it was uncomfortable to be high in front of my husband, imagine just how uncomfortable it was for me this past weekend getting high WITH my husband! The answer is VERY uncomfortable! Not because I feel I’m doing something wrong and I don't want him to see me that way, or me to see him that way. It was more because I felt I had lost the only person I could trust to make good judgements while I was high. If I’ve latched onto anything in all my reading it’s the idea of being able to trust who you're with. 

We were away for the weekend. One night turned into two because we were snowed in at the Hotel with highways closed all over the province. We kind of expected it so we were prepared and not stressed about it. We decided to enjoy it. By Sunday afternoon I was ready for a puff.  We decided upon smoking in the car since this posh hotel had surveillance just about everywhere. My husband said he would join me and just have one puff so as not to be as high as me. That was all it took apparently. He agreed later that the stuff of today is stronger then the stuff his brother use to grow in the back of an old truck on the farm. It was fast acting, but didn't last as long as it did for me as I smoked more. 

The first time of many I thought, “this is the worst idea we have ever had” came as we were trying to get out of the car. Snow so deep it was as high as my boots. It was uneven to walk on and made me feel unsteady. Getting in the building I assumed the smell was blasted off us from the strong winds we had to walk against to get back so I wasn’t worried about our scent. The walk to our room was cool. The carpet is

pretty trippy. I loved it. Once back in the room hubby wanted to leave again to go to dinner which started at 5pm, just a half hour ago. But there was NO stinkin’ WAY I was going to trust him to take me to dinner! I didn’t feel capable of being with people yet. My first time with people while high was only two days prior. I certainly didn't trust hubby to be in the presence of others because I didn't know, not could I tell how his puff was effecting him! I figured we were just going to stay in the room the rest of the night, skipping dinner. Hubby would not have it!

After about an hour and a half I felt more calm, and he convinced me we could do it. So down we headed to the Lounge. Would have been great, except there was no room in the Lounge so they put us in the Fine Dinning part of the restaurant! They gave us TWO menus! And this carpet was 3D boxes. I liked it a lot. I think we did ok. No one knew us so how would they know if we were behaving differently than normal? I just chose to use the path of less resistance. Used yes and no as often as was appropriate, and choose the special rather than have to chose between 20 items across two menus. While waiting for our food to arrive we actually had a conversation about time travel as I tried to explain my first high and how I felt like I traveled in time. (See that post here). For the first time, he said, he found the topic of time travel interesting and even a possibility! 

Eating was simply amazing! With heightened senses and the munchies a side effect of cannabis, eating a high quality, expensive meal was one of the best decisions ever! The little appetizer of three types of bread served with oil and vinegar was delightful. Our dinner of Pot Roast, Yorkshire Pudding, Garlic Mashed and side of veggies was excellent and the best meal ever eaten. But the surprise, and most physically engaging part of the meal came in the form of a half shell. I have never liked the idea of eating raw oyster on the half shell before. But this night my fears were suspended and I just said yes when asked if we would like “yadda, yadda, oyster on the half Shell tonight”. I totally missed the name, but I think it was Caesar Oyster in the Half Shell. 

I picked it up, made sure it was loose enough to slip off the shell and tipped my head back as I let it slide into my mouth and swallowed. It was sweet, and salty, with a hint of tomato. Absolutely stunned at how good it was I didn’t know how to react at first, until I covered my mouth and started to laugh, nearly crying from shear pleasure. Now THAT was a great experience! 

Hubby said that by the time dessert came he was pretty much clear headed. It took me another hour or so before I was. But I was no longer concerned about being in public. We had pulled it off and managed to enjoy every second of the experience. I am glad this is a one time thing for hubby. He’s more concerned with at least one parent being available for the kids than anything else. So, with us away and the kids at home it was his only chance. It might be a year or more  before he gets the opportunity again. 

Aside from the paranoia it produced in me I think the night went pretty well. 

My Visit to MFT

I wish I was Legal. I've heard it a few times now. So listen up, and I'll tell you.

I have the honour of knowing many people now who use marijuana as their medicine, legally or not. Whether they realized when they started that it would bring benefit into their lives or not, it eventually because medicinal for them. 
But this is Canada, so medical marijuana use is legal, if you can figure out how to go legal! That's the trick. I had no idea, but I knew that MFT would be a good place to start. It was Sensei’s confession of a desire to know the process too that really got me over my nerves and out the door. I always find it easier to do things for others instead of myself. So, whatever works…

It was a great experience! I found the staff very friendly and helpful when I showed up without an appointment. The most awkward part was talking to someone about smoking joints already, illegally, without using code words or speaking in hushed tones. They understood, they have all had to go through that same jarring experience. From illegal to legal changes your whole world.

After stammering through my questions about how can MFT help me I got a lot of good answers and came away knowing that I am exactly the right kind of person to get legal access to Cannabis. I walked out of there 20 minutes later with a file folder full of paperwork to fill out, a two item list of things to get, and the knowledge that once the process is started it will be only a matter of 3 weeks before I could have my first order in. Wow!

So here’s the low down. Marihuana For Trauma is Veterans helping Veterans. 
As a civilian MFT will work with us just as readily as they do for Vets, First Responders and serving military. 

A Skype date with the Doctor is set up about a week after all my paperwork is handed in. The paperwork includes permission to share information between doctor, MFT and the dispensary. A Patient Information sheet for the doctor, and an Application for the Cannabis Dispensary (MedReleaf), and an Application/Patient info for MFT. About 20 pages in all to fill out. Also, I must hunt down my medical records and provide the previous diagnosis of Depression and Osteoarthritis. I know I can do that. I have MRI proof of the OA, and I was once on anti-depressants for about two years. So that should also be in my medical records. I just have to call up the doctor I FIRED and pay them to give me my medical records. Oh! A list from the pharmacist should also be included. Do-able since I already have that somewhere in my tax papers from a couple years ago. Just time consuming, anxiety inducing phone calls and foot work. But in general, no big deal.

After the 45 minute Doctor Skype appointment at the MFT office it takes about another week to get the MMPR card. Upon receiving that I would go in and they will help me make my first purchase online from MedReleaf. The Cannabis Counsellors help you not only make your purchase but also help instruct you in usage. For me that will be great! I still do not yet have a good tolerance of the drug in my system so the suggestion was I might need to use every 4 hours at first to build that tolerance quickly. I’m not ashamed to say every 4 hours sounds a little scary to me…But if it must be done, I will do it…I am a determined woman! 

One of the last things I was told was if the cost of the appointment is prohibitive MFT is in the business of helping, not hindering our access to Medical Marihuana. They can work with me and put a payment plan in place if it’s needed. Secondly, the Medreleaf also can help with cost of purchasing the medical Cannabis. Nothing’s free of course, but knowing that the cost of the medical grade stuff doesn't have to be a prohibitive factor to accessing medicine reduces the stress of having to pay everything out of pocket.

The only thing I want to find out now is about taxes. Out of pocket medical expenses can be claimed on your yearly taxes. If I kept all the recipes from the purchase of Tylenol and Aleve I could claim those as well as the prescriptions I get from the pharmacy, after insurance pays. So would the cost of the doctors appointment and the purchase of medical grade marihuana be included in that tax break? Insurance doesn't cover any of it….I’m sure the Cannabis Counsellors can help answer that question for me when I get around to making my first purchase. So more on that later. 

If you are looking to go legal and have access to the good quality marihuana as well as various strains check out MFTgroup.ca. online or visit them in person. You will not regret it!

Revelations from Day 5

So, just a side note to begin…..my unnamed friend who has introduced me to this wonderful herb, supplied me with my first few buds, and has now sold me my first purchased buds, will now and forever be referred to as Sensei. 

sensei: Noun. Japanese for "teacher". Can be used as a suffix in names, and can be used for anyone who is knowledgeable or high in a profession…

Haha! High in a profession!

It kind of came out as a joke actually. I had mentioned to my husband how my friend has advise me to NOT try edibles yet. I’m too new and the effect is a much stronger high, a body high, that I would not be ready for. So hubby makes the statement, “what Sensei says, you need to listen to”. That was it, I decided it’s sticking. Really it just makes life easier when blogging to refer to a person with a moniker of some sort cuz I don’t even want to give away if Sensei is male or female!

I was telling Sensei about my fifth high last week. It had been a week since my last and I was feeling a bit desperate to get out and have a smoke simply because I was noticing how unhappy I was feeling in general. It was time for another dose. 

Sensei laughed at me…I was so intent on getting out to the barn and getting that medicine into me that I literally forgot I was going to get high from it!  I don’t even know! No idea why I forgot about that at all. I got hit suddenly, unexpectedly with that swimmy headed feeling and it dawned on my then, “oh, right! I’m getting high!” 

Perhaps it was my terminology that through me. I kept thinking I needed to get out for a smoke….So Smoking doesn’t get you high. Maybe that’s why I forgot I would get high. At any rate I enjoyed this High by sending a flirty text to Sensei….SO embarrassing! Used the Joey line. Apologized two hours later…Sensei had “high texted’ people before….Great Grace is shown me by this person, I must say! 

Now, that faux pas would have torn at me for hours, and even days, feeling guilty and stupid and embarrassed. I have none of that gunk now! I am done with self loathing and dwelling on my mistakes. If Sensei can show me grace and kindness in the face of some pretty stupid stuff I’ve said or done then I can show myself the same courtesy. We all make mistakes. We all are just blundering about in this life, for the most part, with such unattainable standards in front of us that we forget half the stuff we do is often trial and error, with a few successes thrown in to keep us motivated to keep trying. Well. That’s my perspective now anyway. So life in general feels much less difficult and happy is easier to achieve, and keep. I’m not sure if I dropped the unattainable standard, or gained more grace towards myself….probably both.

Next day I felt like baking! And bake I did! Banana Bread, and Snickerdoodles. You U.S. readers will know what those are! Love them!

Two days after my 5th dose I was still as happy as a lark! In fact, I had tears come to my eyes just thinking how much happier I have been lately! I sent this text, “omg Sensei! How did I live before this!!!!???? I want to cry I'm so happy now.”

I’m sure people who have no knowledge of how this herb works will think my happiness is contrived, or falsely brought on and only there because of the residual effects of the high. The answer to that is yes, and no. Yes it is caused by taking in the THC and CBD from smoking the herb. But it is not a false happy. It is true the happy doesn't last in me forever after one dose, but nor does it only last while high. Just like some Pharmaceuticals are designed to alter brain chemistry, with the desired result being to end depressive thoughts and tendencies, so does the THC and CBD do the same thing. Just like typical prescribed drugs that must be taken daily to keep the change consistent and to be helpful, so the herb must be taken at least 2 times a week for me, to keep my state of mind consistent. So far it’s working beautifully for me! 

Come to think of it, I can’t really say I’m “happy” while high. I think I feel more inconvenienced by the high than anything else. I like the result, I wish it didn’t take up so much of my time before I can go out and function after a dose. Though I don't hate the high either…I’m learning and exploring so much about who I am in the process. Still, if I could choose, I’d rather not be high every time.

Now, on the topic of exploring and the benefits of my new activity, sex with my husband while high is better than anything else I have enjoyed! Ever!! Everything just happens so much easier….and more often! A “happy” wife means a lucky husband in this house! So my husband is happy to see me head out to the barn every few days now. 

Sex With A Song!??

Monday the 29th of December the kids all left to do some after christmas shopping. 

I headed to the barn for a puff around 6pm. Tonight it had dawned on me I could go in there to partake of my second rolled joint. With the lights off. Our barn is big. It holds a lot of junk. Some of the stuff is ours, some of it from others. I took a candle for light, but I figured it would be easier to use then the lighter to relight the joint if it goes out often again. Worked beautifully! Took the ashtray cup. I set up a patio chair beside a dead dehumidifier and Voila! A safe place away from prying eyes, nosey neighbours and the smell is contained. I’m sheltered from the weather as well. We shall see how long it lasts!

Still coughing, I managed to smoke 3/4 of this second joint I had rolled a couple days ahead of time to be prepared for just such a time as this. Blowing out the candle to leave added a new dimension to my return trip out the door to venture back to the house. Sudden blackness. My phone became my saving grace because I was afraid to move!

It’s been long enough now since that night that I don’t remember how I got back in the house or what I did before getting into bed. Time distorted again. I was ridiculously cold again! 

I texted my friend who was apparently online…No answer. Again my friend was missing my high. I so wanted to test out how I was able to communicate while high, but it wasn’t going to happen this night. 

What I did do was decide to enjoy some music this time. Not much else I could do laying there freezing in bed anyway. I had just the song I wanted to watch the video of. I had actually planned to watch this for my first time, but that played out differently. Find the link here to the song. Maybe you will want to enjoy it while high as well. It’s a seven and a half minute long song. I thought it was trippy when not high! So bundled up under the covers again, I watched it on my phone. 

Somewhere half way through the song I was no longer enjoying the visuals and sound sensation. But the song was enjoying me! The song ends with a prolonged mid frequency note which I “woke up” to, realizing I had just somehow, unbelievably, had sex with this song! 

I recall wondering how these artists knew, planned their video and music so perfectly to produce a visual and auditory encounter like that. It felt like it was created that way on purpose. I’m a little embarrassed to say that song pretty much set the mood for the rest of the night. Couldn’t help it. I did try to pull myself out of that direction a couple times, but finally just gave in to its overwhelming power. Three hours later…..I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep! 

Because I was a little more cognizant now I thought I was coming down…nothing could have been further from the truth!  In hind sight, I definitely smoked too much again. I messaged my friend around 4 am. Judging from the text I was still high. I was over sharing. 

Two things happened. 

First, the only thing I had read about that made me nervous was weed could increase sexual appetite. O.K., nervous and intrigued. Having been on anti-depressants in the past for a few years I had a similar experience. It took six weeks for the medication to actually have an effect, and when it literally kicked in I was insatiable! For exactly one week. It was a good week mind you. There were days I’d call my husband at work and ask if he could come home for lunch. That never happened before, or again. This night totally put that week to shame. And for days after a simple memory had me in a state of trying to control myself. 

The second thing that happened; I went to work high the next morning. Not a great idea. I didn't realize I was still high until I was actually at work and needing to interact with people. At home getting ready, it had been quiet and I was alone since everyone else in the house was still asleep. At work I was overwhelmed and lacked judgement, I could tell. I definitely made some bad decisions that day. Even got a co-worker of mine rather mad at me. I’m VERY thankful that person is very easy going and forgiving, and is still talking to me a week later! I didn’t come off this extended buzz until around 2pm. Of course, by then I was just so upset with myself for hurting my friend that I was having a hard time functioning well at work for a new reason. 

Benefits! Still seeing them. 

A sex drive like I’ve never had. This is both wonderful for my marriage and occasionally troublesome. I just need to learn to focus my mind. That helps.

I’m happy. Did I say that before? I did. I will have to find a new benefit for next blog, but for now this one will have to be recycled. I have everything I need in life, and could want really. Why it was so hard to be happy before seems ridiculous now that I am happy.  It proves, for me anyway, that happy is not circumstantial at all. There was and is nothing I can do to make myself happy out of shear will power. Reminding myself of all the good things I have just made me feel worse that I couldn't be happy because of them. 

I don’t need to constantly remind myself of those things now. I just enjoy them. I function in them. I smile because of them. I don’t want to change them. And on a related note, I was wanting to quit my job for about a year now, but couldn’t bring myself to. I think I was depressed, making the idea of a change the only thing that made sense. Now I have no desire to quit. I’m happy with my life, that includes my job. In fact it fits me well and I’m good at it. 

The Underwhelming Night - My second Puff

I really feel like I’m going to forget this second high if I don't write it down…It was not as intense it’s true, but the first and the third were SO intense it is causing my second high to fade in my memory. There are two reasons I’m writing this stuff down here; one is to help me process what is happening.The second reason is to document the benefits, so I don’t forget and don't lose the purpose in what I’m doing. I’m not doing this to get lost in the haze.

Day two….or opportunity number two, really. Four days after the first and only two days before christmas. I came home from work to find no one home and no one expected for at least an hour as the family were christmas shopping. This was stupid move number two! It was still day light out, and not wanting to miss this rare opportunity but not wanting to venture outside and risk actually being seen I lit the last quarter of the first joint in the house…..yes….I really did. 

I hear it now….”dufas”!  

Yup. I’ll admit it. That I am.

I threw the window in my bedroom open and tried to keep the smoke going out, but I think it just blew it all back in. The left over joint wasn't a huge amount that I could accidentally over do it this time. It was just enough to give me that swimmy head feeling and then the thing was done. I was still in my work clothes I was in such a rush to do this thing. I tossed the filter into the toilet not wanting anything to remain and had a shower before laying down. Though I was kind of in a hurry to have my second joint, and to lay down in my room before the family got home, I also made a conscious effort to thoroughly enjoy a warm shower. The nervousness of the kids being able to smell it when they got home nagged at me though. So the enjoyment of relaxing was a bit hampered. 

My husband came home and announced through the door that he could smell it.  I sprayed lysol around the house but it didn’t get rid of the smell. This was not a good option. I’d have to tweak my protocol. I found as long as the bedroom door was closed it was not noticed in the rest of the house. Thankfully.

I laid down and don't really remember much of the next few hours. Except that I was relaxed, and that the time distortion was not as intense as the first time. For that I am thankful. I didn’t sleep this time though. It was just a nice relaxing high, in which I got very cold again. I hate this side effect! I hate being cold! 

This high did not last as long. I was only about two hours by myself in bed, and then I got up and snacked in the kitchen talking to my husband. Dinner was well over by the time I got up, so I ventured into crappy snack food that is not usually found in my house, except that it is at christmas. Food underwhelmed me. I made a mental note to stock better food for my next experience. Drink didn't impress me either. Hmm, munchies not so fun for me apparently. Maybe I’m doing something wrong…

I had purposely been avoiding wine ever since my first experience. I noticed two days after my first high that I was more sensitive to acquiring a wine buzz. That’s new. Usually I can drink two full glasses and not feel a thing ,except that I sleep better. But now I feel that swishy feeling in my head half way through the first glass. Ok, cool….so now I’m very nervous to drink any wine at all in the evening, unless there is absolutely no chance for me to go out and have a puff, like on an evening before work….but that’s the next storey.

Benefits I’m seeing:  A definite increase in sexual interest. This is a huge benefit! I would never have admitted it before, but I really wasn’t into sex at all. It’s not that I didn’t like it. It just seemed like so much work. I thought something was wrong with me and never had the nerve to talk about it to anyone! Not even my husband. Too much embarrassment attached to sex in general to ever consider bringing it up. I guess I did have something wrong with me. I just didn’t have a sex drive at all. I've got one now though! 

A second benefit is, I’m happy. Not just relaxed and happy when I’m high, but generally happy. I bounce around at work, humming, singing and dancing while I go about the work day. I have nothing to complain about. Stupid stuff I do rolls off my back, where I would have obsessed about how stupid I was or looked to someone else for hours. The fact that I can post here about my lack of and new found sex drive is a big deal! Could NOT talk about those kinds of things before. Before fear of what others thought of me suffocated me. I lived out of the fear of what someone might think, or say about me. Now? Not so worried at all. There is SUCH freedom in that! 

Attached to this second benefit is the fact that all this is happening in much less time then it took those blasted anti-depressants to kick in. The only time I took those, it took six weeks before I saw any benefit at all. Those increased my sexual desire too, but only for the first week after the kick in. Then I lost interest again. 

I guess the third benefit so far is more open communication with my husband. This was first forced upon me by my “safe” friend. The idea of helping me into the world of weed was not really welcomed until my husband was in the know. I can respect a person with such integrity! When I finally did bring it up to my husband that’s when the ball started to get rolling. With only two people in my life who actually knew what I was about to embark on, it made for a very small group of people with whom to communicate. If I have something I want to share, my husband it pretty much the goto person, my “safe friend” a close second.

So, although I'd say my execution of high #2 was far from perfect again! I'd have to say the benefits are making up for my newbie-isms. 

My first Time

So like I said before, maybe my first time was a bad trip, but I just don't know any better yet. Maybe its what others strive for, or perhaps it’s exactly what it was suppose to be. At any rate, I have learned that each experience so far is different from the last. I’m still learning.

So that first night. I was complaining to my friend on Messenger how I was frustrated I had no opportunities to have my first smoke. Bluntly, I was told to just go do it after the kids were in bed and then lay down myself. I looked around and noticed my husband sleeping, my youngest sleeping and my other two kids out and not expected back for hours. This WAS my chance! I downed the last of my glass of wine and headed to my room, closed the door and pulled everything out again. 

My first try….      

…..I was proud of myself!

Now to sneak outside and attempt to smoke it without anyone noticing me, a non-smoker smoking, or the smell! 

It was freezing out, but I sat on the dark steps anyway and lit it. It was not the easiest thing to do, that’s for sure, but I thought I could manage somewhat given that I have used puffers before. 

It’s definitely different than puffers! 

It kept going out after every two pulls on it. I’d have to relit it and tried to keep it going. Then, when I was about half way through the joint someone stepped out of their door onto the deck across the road from me for a smoke…I held my breath, tamped out the glowing ember at the end of the joint, and stifled every cough that tried to force its way out of my lungs! At this point, even though the joint was half gone I wasn’t feeling anything. I figured it was because I wasn’t inhaling well yet (I think I was wrong in hind sight). A couple real good inhales with lots of coughing told me I had taken in some actual smoke…and the head began to feel light and dizzy…I decided to go in….then decided to go back out again and finish the damn thing cuz I didn’t know what to do with only 1/4 of it left! 

Aaaaaand my judgement was fully impaired!

I stepped out again, tried to light it again when a taxi pulled up the driveway with my daughter inside….I ran in the house! Stood dumbfounded about what to do, because I was suppose to pay the taxi driver….THAT was NOT going to happen! I basically made straight for my room. And much to my surprise my daughter followed close behind, wanting to tell me about her night. I know I was not acting normal, but couldn't help it. I think I was trying to blow the smell out of my lungs when she wasn’t looking…oh dear! I just needed her to leave and be alone! I pretty much pushed her out of my room and told her I was going to bed.

Free at last, I turned the lights off and climbed into bed more lightheaded then I have ever been. Sense of balance was off, and time was warping. Getting my coat off took lots of work, and happened in an instant, but each move took forever. I distinctly remember thinking about how I would never imagine myself here, doing this when I was in high school, and suddenly I WAS in high school looking forward at me, looking back at me. Then I was sucked back to the present. I was amazed at the intensity of the time dilations I was moving through. And this was me still standing beside my bed, I hadn't even laid down yet. I opted not to change into my Pj’s for fear of falling over, plus time didn't feel on my side with moving. So I just climbed into bed. What I didn’t know until the next day was my bottom was wet from sitting out on the steps. I was frozen all night! (Turns out, all three times now, I freeze. So, it’s just a thing I guess).

So just after midnight I tried to text my friend to say I did it, I had actually smoked my first joint…of course texting when you're in a time warp, and freezing, and can barely move is rather difficult! Plus I was seeing the words on the screen both backwards and forwards all at the same time. It made finding the correct letters to type rather difficult.This is all I got out before my arms were too heavy to hold them up any longer..

I'm forcing myself to text you

I. Oh. Ah. Ha!

Bit scary really

It was scary! What was scary was I didn’t know how long it would last. Would it get more intense, and would I be able to handle the intense multi-sensory overload I was experiencing? The best thing I did before trying cannabis was to watch youtube videos about it. Nothing can really prepare you for your first high, but the one thing I did learn and was what I clung to during this overwhelming few hours, was I was not going to die, and the worst thing you could do was freak out and go to the hospital. So, when I was really overwhelmed, I just reminded myself I was not going to die, I would be ok. 

So for an unknown length of time I lay under my blankets, head covered to keep any heat I might have, in, and swirled through thoughts, and memories. What I didn’t see was colours, or visual stimuli. But it was dark, and my eyes were closed most of the time, I think…

Then suddenly I was wide awake and more aware and had more control of my thoughts and actions. It was 3am! I texted again.

.........

HO-LY-COW!!!!!!

My friend thought I was hilarious when that was read the next morning. But really! how do you put into words what was just experienced!? 

I remember my husband coming to bed and saying something that I found hilarious. I laughed harder then I ever have, but suddenly had no idea what I had found funny. I remember that when I was outside starting to smoke, when I first felt a slight buzz I wanted to smoke more because I was afraid the effect would wear off too soon, and I wanted to experience the full thing. 

My biggest concern was that the buzz lasted SO long! Thankfully I wasn’t working the next day, because the slight buzz was still evident until about 3 in the afternoon. I didn’t drive that day, but did go out christmas shopping. Milk seemed to kill the buzz within a half hour of drinking it. 

I was told, under no circumstances should I have drunk alcohol first. Liquor and then weed is not a good combination ever. I was told that the next morning, which was too late. My judgement was off from the start. I also smoked too much my first time. This was why I wanted a safe place/safe person. All the parameters would have been set for me walking in. So, it didn’t go as planned, but it did finally happen. And I didn’t hate it. As my friend pointed out, now that I had THC in my brain the next time would be different as it accumulates. The goal though, don’t forget….isn’t all about getting high. This is about helping reduce depression and any other helpful positives it might bring.

Benefits so far? Less stress, and a heightened desire for sex. THAT’s new! 

The Lead Up

As far as first times go, you might classify mine as a bad trip. Maybe it was, but I didn’t know any better. 

My initial first step into this world was well planned. It’s the execution that fell through.

I had by this time done a lot of reading. I had even found a list of “TO DO’s” to prepare for your first time. Step one was be with someone you deemed as a safe person, and in a safe place. I asked the only person I knew. The initial response was yes, but after weeks of waiting the yes turned to a ‘maybe in the new year’. I felt like I had been on a roller coaster ride, with every possible weekend, or day off being the possibility of that yes becoming reality, but then being let down with, ‘I’m busy tonight’. It became clear that if it was to be, it was up to me! So the safe place became home….with kids everywhere and up at all hours?!! Not very hopeful! 

I didn’t count, but I’m sure it was at least six weeks from the time I asked until I finally received my first sample. See, not only was I relying on my friend for a safe place, but being a good christian meant I had no idea at all how to go about getting the stuff! So I was also relying on this friend to basically share so I could try it out. I thought sharing was a big deal! Receiving my first tiny ziplock bag was euphoric! I was tickled! And extremely, probably over the top,  thankful.

I literally smelled that bag for days. It’s all I could do! The first whiff was weird, and pungent. Like smelly socks. But the more often I inhaled that strange scent the better it smelled. The more I wanted it, and the more frustrated I got that I had it and could do nothing with it. About day four of having this bag stored in my closet it finally dawned on me that I had not even handled it yet. So out of the baggie it came. Door locked. I held those tiny green buds in my hand, holding it to the light to see if I could see anything glint like they show on Sanjay’s first piece on Weed. Tiny crystals were evident, but nothing like they show on t.v. or in magazines (yes, I’ve read those too). I smelled it again, and when a tiny five fingered leaf fell off, I popped it in my mouth instinctually. I wanted to know what it tasted like….like some kind of mint, surprisingly. It lasted a long time as I rolled it around in my mouth with my tongue and between my front teeth for at least any hour as I did my normal stuff in and out of the house that day. It tasted good enough that I wanted more, but I was unwilling to “waste” it that way. I knew the only way I would experience any effect was to smoke it. And I had yet to get papers, a grinder or even a lighter!

Day five I rushed home from work, changed and rushed down to the only head shop I knew of. I was needing to be prepared in case an opportunity arose. The need to roll hadn't come up before this. If I had been at my friends we would have been using the bong. I again had done my homework first. See, I’ve never even smoked cigarettes before let alone roll them myself. So I had to find out what I needed, and how to do it. I’m very thankful for youtube videos. I learned all I needed and more from a few of those. Big shout out to Expert Joints for such clear instructions! They neglected to mention how much I would cough the first time though. Well, I was warned by my friend at any rate. It’s not pleasant, but short lived.

The staff at the local head shop were good. I had already been in there once under false information. Meaning I lied about why I was in there. But my friend straighten me out. No judgements are cast in those places. I was still operating out of my old mindset that I would be judged on every level. My second time in I was up front with what I thought I needed and that this was my first time. It was still nerve racking for some reason, just so out of my comfort zone. But, that is part of the goal in pursuing this new adventure. I left with a tiny brown paper bag I could hide in my purse stuffed full of a package of papers, filter papers, a green grinder with a catcher for the crystals (huh?), and my first lighter. All for under ten bucks. I had $50 in my wallet thinking this would be much more expensive! So very glad it wasn’t. Of course I still have no idea just how expensive this new adventure could get. At this point I have yet to make my first true purchase of the herb. Is there even such thing as shopping around? Haha!

I took my little package home and with doors closed and locked again I pulled everything out of the bag and took a long look at what I had just done. I had just invested financially in a new direction. A new opportunity, and possible aide to my mental and over all health and well-being. I had just done the unthinkable. I had invested in ME! I felt the weight of each item, the thinness of the rolling papers, and toughness of the perforated filter papers. I opened every opening of the green grinder and wondered at the crystal catcher. I was informed that would eventually contain enough crystals for a “treat” later. Not sure yet what that will include, but at this rate, it will take a year to find out. Until then, that section will remain untouched. 

It was another few days before I would actually take the herb and crush it in my little green machine and take the next step in this big adventure I’m on…..so stay tuned for the night time folded in on itself and I was rather calmly freaking out.