The Lead Up

As far as first times go, you might classify mine as a bad trip. Maybe it was, but I didn’t know any better. 

My initial first step into this world was well planned. It’s the execution that fell through.

I had by this time done a lot of reading. I had even found a list of “TO DO’s” to prepare for your first time. Step one was be with someone you deemed as a safe person, and in a safe place. I asked the only person I knew. The initial response was yes, but after weeks of waiting the yes turned to a ‘maybe in the new year’. I felt like I had been on a roller coaster ride, with every possible weekend, or day off being the possibility of that yes becoming reality, but then being let down with, ‘I’m busy tonight’. It became clear that if it was to be, it was up to me! So the safe place became home….with kids everywhere and up at all hours?!! Not very hopeful! 

I didn’t count, but I’m sure it was at least six weeks from the time I asked until I finally received my first sample. See, not only was I relying on my friend for a safe place, but being a good christian meant I had no idea at all how to go about getting the stuff! So I was also relying on this friend to basically share so I could try it out. I thought sharing was a big deal! Receiving my first tiny ziplock bag was euphoric! I was tickled! And extremely, probably over the top,  thankful.

I literally smelled that bag for days. It’s all I could do! The first whiff was weird, and pungent. Like smelly socks. But the more often I inhaled that strange scent the better it smelled. The more I wanted it, and the more frustrated I got that I had it and could do nothing with it. About day four of having this bag stored in my closet it finally dawned on me that I had not even handled it yet. So out of the baggie it came. Door locked. I held those tiny green buds in my hand, holding it to the light to see if I could see anything glint like they show on Sanjay’s first piece on Weed. Tiny crystals were evident, but nothing like they show on t.v. or in magazines (yes, I’ve read those too). I smelled it again, and when a tiny five fingered leaf fell off, I popped it in my mouth instinctually. I wanted to know what it tasted like….like some kind of mint, surprisingly. It lasted a long time as I rolled it around in my mouth with my tongue and between my front teeth for at least any hour as I did my normal stuff in and out of the house that day. It tasted good enough that I wanted more, but I was unwilling to “waste” it that way. I knew the only way I would experience any effect was to smoke it. And I had yet to get papers, a grinder or even a lighter!

Day five I rushed home from work, changed and rushed down to the only head shop I knew of. I was needing to be prepared in case an opportunity arose. The need to roll hadn't come up before this. If I had been at my friends we would have been using the bong. I again had done my homework first. See, I’ve never even smoked cigarettes before let alone roll them myself. So I had to find out what I needed, and how to do it. I’m very thankful for youtube videos. I learned all I needed and more from a few of those. Big shout out to Expert Joints for such clear instructions! They neglected to mention how much I would cough the first time though. Well, I was warned by my friend at any rate. It’s not pleasant, but short lived.

The staff at the local head shop were good. I had already been in there once under false information. Meaning I lied about why I was in there. But my friend straighten me out. No judgements are cast in those places. I was still operating out of my old mindset that I would be judged on every level. My second time in I was up front with what I thought I needed and that this was my first time. It was still nerve racking for some reason, just so out of my comfort zone. But, that is part of the goal in pursuing this new adventure. I left with a tiny brown paper bag I could hide in my purse stuffed full of a package of papers, filter papers, a green grinder with a catcher for the crystals (huh?), and my first lighter. All for under ten bucks. I had $50 in my wallet thinking this would be much more expensive! So very glad it wasn’t. Of course I still have no idea just how expensive this new adventure could get. At this point I have yet to make my first true purchase of the herb. Is there even such thing as shopping around? Haha!

I took my little package home and with doors closed and locked again I pulled everything out of the bag and took a long look at what I had just done. I had just invested financially in a new direction. A new opportunity, and possible aide to my mental and over all health and well-being. I had just done the unthinkable. I had invested in ME! I felt the weight of each item, the thinness of the rolling papers, and toughness of the perforated filter papers. I opened every opening of the green grinder and wondered at the crystal catcher. I was informed that would eventually contain enough crystals for a “treat” later. Not sure yet what that will include, but at this rate, it will take a year to find out. Until then, that section will remain untouched. 

It was another few days before I would actually take the herb and crush it in my little green machine and take the next step in this big adventure I’m on…..so stay tuned for the night time folded in on itself and I was rather calmly freaking out.