Edibles: Getting Baked, While Baking

After my successful experience a few weeks ago with my first edible, a gift of Peanut CannaButter Cookies from a friend, I strongly expressed to Sensei that I had to do that again! So we planned for a couple weeks and saved our money. Then Sensei made the purchase of a full Ounce which we went halfsies on so we could bake. Sensei choose to make the butter, already having had experience with it. I was given the Cannabutter and baked cookies at my place the following day. We each choose a recipe for me to bake and split. This is what happened that day.

The Cannabutter was made by Sensei, and from the description it was done differently this time compared to the other times Sensei made it. This time the Crock-pot method was employed, for 24 hrs. I found out from Sensei that the finished product turned out stronger than the usual stove top method. Of course, why Sensei had to change things to make them more potent when this was my first bake I’m not sure, but whatev’s. I can limit my intake knowing it is stronger.

The first thing I did when I got home was scrap a very small amount off the top of the Cannabutter and stir it into my coffee. Then I discovered I misjudged how many chocolate chips I had and ended up running to the store for a big bag. While out I noticed the butter was starting to take effect as I began to feel a slight warming in my abdomen. I recalled this feeling from the first time. It was a light effect given how little I had ingested, it just made me feel a slight euphoria. I was nervous that I was out when I started to feel it, but I was able to drive home to begin the baking process again without any trouble.

Sensei choose the first recipe for The Best Cannabis Chocolate-Chip Cookies found on EMarijuanaRecipes.com. I have to say, the butter mixture stank really strong so incense was burned to counter the smell. Thank you Sensei for making the butter at your place! Baking with Cannabutter I learned that one should always use glass, or metal baking implements so as not to have wood or plastic infused with the smell. So glad I read and heeded that information before taking on this endeavour. 

   

The Cannabutter melted very easily with very little heat, and mixed well with the two sugars and eggs. The dry ingredients were added to the wet, then the add ins. We choose to use both Chocolate chips and Nuts. I had on hand Pecans, so used them. Once the raw dough was made I found there to be a lot of chocolate chips. So many that at times I had to remove a chip or two for them to remain formed into balls. In order to keep a consistency in the size of the finished product I used a small scoop to pick up the dough. I hand roll them nice and round and baked an even amount to be able to divide them evenly. I was able to get 80 chocolate chip cookies from one cup of Cannabutter. 

  

I wanted to try them but could not until my oldest Son left the house, which I discovered he needed to at 1:15pm to catch a bus. The second he left I ate two cookies. Ten minutes later my son returned needing a ride as the bus had been missed! I was still ok enough to drive, so I did, without feeling any effects before I was home. 

As a side note, my son did wonder what the heck I was making when he got up. Dark green butter with a smell like that will tip anyone off, and there’s no way of hiding what it is. So I admitted that I was making pot cookies for a friend who offered to pay me to do it. I commented how baking and taking this friend cookies over the last few months had paid off and allowed me to do this for them. ‘Oh, and Mom could get arrested for this, so don’t say anything’….I’m hoping he bought it. (2 1/2 months later, I have told my son I'm legal and eventually found out he had no idea I was using at this point-whew!)

Back to my baking. By 2:24pm I was GONE! I had kids scheduled to arrive home from school in about an hour and I still had to finish making the second batch of cookies. These ones I was told to pick. So I found an Cannabis Compost Oatmeal Cookie recipe from Good and Baked website. Given that I was good and baked myself by this time I found the recipe hard to follow. It was not layed out in step by step instructions. I somehow managed to focus enough for short periods of time that I was able to finish mixing this batch. No pictures this time though. The add ins I used were Raisins, Cranberries, Cinnamon and Nutmeg. I don't know how they taste yet. So we shall see if I made a good stoned decision. It was torture baking them. I was feeling slightly paranoid and wanted to go to my room, but I was stuck making the last of the cookies and cleaning up after myself so none of my hungry children would come in from school and eat any not realizing what they were! So I stuck it out and waited 16 minutes as each batch cooked. This type of cookie was bigger due to the fact that they are made of lumpy oats, so we only got a total of 32 cookies out of this half pound. They sure look good though.

To describe my state after eating the two cookies I would have to say more stoned then I’ve ever been so far. While making and waiting for the last of the cookies to bake I was hippy dancing in the kitchen. I don’t know how else to describe it. If you see any of the old clips from the original Woodstock and see the girls dancing in long flowing skirts, headbands, and sunglasses….that was pretty much me. Nothing but the music existed in those moments, and minutes between oven and cookie change overs. AS soon as I finished washing up and bagging the cookies to hide in my room until I could count again and split them up I was next in my room hiding from my family. I was present, and then I was somewhere else, then here again, then elsewhere. I was able to communicate with people again 6 hours after the edibles took effect. But the half life of the stuff was still present. I was extremely relaxed for much of the night. I slept wonderfully! Didn’t wake up once, an unusual thing for me. This morning I no longer feel the half life but I do feel more laid back than usual and still more apt to dance to music. I did nothing in a rush today. 

I asked Sensei about the strength and taste of the cookies, given they have way more experience with edibles than I do. I was congratulated. The cookies tasted very good I was told, and the weed butter taste is minimal given how strong they are. Four cookies made Sensei’s eyes completely red and gave a very strong body high. This coming from someone who has had five years experience with Cannabis! I think the crock-pot method will be the method of choice from now on!

Then Sensei says, ‘if i didn’t have to go back to work tonight, i would eat a couple more and watch a movie. You can get to a certain high on edibles where it becomes psychedelic.’ 

this is NOT the real Sensei

Well! There’s another bucket list item! I’ll have to try that another day, when I don’t have to work for a couple days. 

Getting High WITH Hubby?!?!

Well! If I thought it was uncomfortable to be high in front of my husband, imagine just how uncomfortable it was for me this past weekend getting high WITH my husband! The answer is VERY uncomfortable! Not because I feel I’m doing something wrong and I don't want him to see me that way, or me to see him that way. It was more because I felt I had lost the only person I could trust to make good judgements while I was high. If I’ve latched onto anything in all my reading it’s the idea of being able to trust who you're with. 

We were away for the weekend. One night turned into two because we were snowed in at the Hotel with highways closed all over the province. We kind of expected it so we were prepared and not stressed about it. We decided to enjoy it. By Sunday afternoon I was ready for a puff.  We decided upon smoking in the car since this posh hotel had surveillance just about everywhere. My husband said he would join me and just have one puff so as not to be as high as me. That was all it took apparently. He agreed later that the stuff of today is stronger then the stuff his brother use to grow in the back of an old truck on the farm. It was fast acting, but didn't last as long as it did for me as I smoked more. 

The first time of many I thought, “this is the worst idea we have ever had” came as we were trying to get out of the car. Snow so deep it was as high as my boots. It was uneven to walk on and made me feel unsteady. Getting in the building I assumed the smell was blasted off us from the strong winds we had to walk against to get back so I wasn’t worried about our scent. The walk to our room was cool. The carpet is

pretty trippy. I loved it. Once back in the room hubby wanted to leave again to go to dinner which started at 5pm, just a half hour ago. But there was NO stinkin’ WAY I was going to trust him to take me to dinner! I didn’t feel capable of being with people yet. My first time with people while high was only two days prior. I certainly didn't trust hubby to be in the presence of others because I didn't know, not could I tell how his puff was effecting him! I figured we were just going to stay in the room the rest of the night, skipping dinner. Hubby would not have it!

After about an hour and a half I felt more calm, and he convinced me we could do it. So down we headed to the Lounge. Would have been great, except there was no room in the Lounge so they put us in the Fine Dinning part of the restaurant! They gave us TWO menus! And this carpet was 3D boxes. I liked it a lot. I think we did ok. No one knew us so how would they know if we were behaving differently than normal? I just chose to use the path of less resistance. Used yes and no as often as was appropriate, and choose the special rather than have to chose between 20 items across two menus. While waiting for our food to arrive we actually had a conversation about time travel as I tried to explain my first high and how I felt like I traveled in time. (See that post here). For the first time, he said, he found the topic of time travel interesting and even a possibility! 

Eating was simply amazing! With heightened senses and the munchies a side effect of cannabis, eating a high quality, expensive meal was one of the best decisions ever! The little appetizer of three types of bread served with oil and vinegar was delightful. Our dinner of Pot Roast, Yorkshire Pudding, Garlic Mashed and side of veggies was excellent and the best meal ever eaten. But the surprise, and most physically engaging part of the meal came in the form of a half shell. I have never liked the idea of eating raw oyster on the half shell before. But this night my fears were suspended and I just said yes when asked if we would like “yadda, yadda, oyster on the half Shell tonight”. I totally missed the name, but I think it was Caesar Oyster in the Half Shell. 

I picked it up, made sure it was loose enough to slip off the shell and tipped my head back as I let it slide into my mouth and swallowed. It was sweet, and salty, with a hint of tomato. Absolutely stunned at how good it was I didn’t know how to react at first, until I covered my mouth and started to laugh, nearly crying from shear pleasure. Now THAT was a great experience! 

Hubby said that by the time dessert came he was pretty much clear headed. It took me another hour or so before I was. But I was no longer concerned about being in public. We had pulled it off and managed to enjoy every second of the experience. I am glad this is a one time thing for hubby. He’s more concerned with at least one parent being available for the kids than anything else. So, with us away and the kids at home it was his only chance. It might be a year or more  before he gets the opportunity again. 

Aside from the paranoia it produced in me I think the night went pretty well. 

A Night of Many Firsts

I have been restricted to partaking of my ganja alone for the first 8 weeks of this journey. With little bits of advice, coaxing, or encouragement from my bestie, Sensei. But that came to a happy end last Friday. First, how that came to happen.

Coffee dates. I LOVE coffee dates! For me they are times of deep conversation that literally feeds my heart and soul. One on one, two way connection. Earlier this week I had the privilege of a coffee date with a new friend. One who also desires deep relationship with other humans, to help keep her sane. During our conversation about religion, school and general life stuff I felt she was probably a safe person to tell I smoked weed. It was probably the best reaction I’ve ever had. She was stoked for me, and suggested we become weed buddies. Sounded like a great possibility since I’ve been on my own right from the start.

So, I tested that open ended invitation just two days later. After dropping one of the kids off to Youth Group I texted her to see what she was up to. Right away I was invited to join her and meet yet another young lady who had been told all about me already. I joined them for coffee and about an hour later we were off to find a place to enjoy a joint together. I was nervous, yet excited and ready for this step! We took my car home first as I’m too new to this to even attempt to drive. Friend #1 drove. She’s driven high a lot apparently, and since she’s still alive I figured I could trust her. 

We sat in a gas station parking lot and rolled our joints. This was the first time I had used a roller. Usually I just hand roll. My joint came out looking like a cannon and we all laughed at it, but it worked...gotta get me one of those! The two in the front shared, I just used my own in the back. I figured it saved the awkward assumption of whose stuff do we use. That, plus I was able to actually watch and learn. For instance, I found out it’s not me doing something wrong that prevents my joints from staying lit. The girls up front had to re-lite theirs too. The driver found a park at which to sit and talk while we did the puff puff pass. This night I decided not to limit myself to just a few drags. Usually I only get enough to get my head swishy. Instead, since I was out with other users I was going to smoke as much as I could. And I did….3/4 of the joint myself. That’s quite a bit considering one now lasts me four doses. 

I was also offered a drag from their joint (was I suppose to share too?). I was told it was high grade medicinal quality, medical marihuana. So another first, I have now tried medicinal quality. Holy Crap! The stuff was so smooth I couldn’t tell if I was inhaling it! I’m sure I took a good 4 or 5 drags from that one in total before we headed out. There is no comparison. That stuff was good shit! And I promptly high texted, informing Sensei via messenger we needed to get some good shit. 

The reason we were sitting in the car in a park on a blustery evening was because not one of us has an indoor place we can go to smoke (note to self; find more friends - just kidding). Kinda sad, but come summer it won’t matter too much I suspect. We headed to the drivers place were we were allowed to hang while high. I was not worried about interacting with anyone because I was told the house mate who didn't smoke up knew the driver did and was ok with it. Little did I know at the time the girlfriend and her kid were there too! I kept my head down and talked as little as possible. We watched funny cat videos. We did talk about some deep stuff. I found out I know a lot about Cannabis! More than most who smoke it. Odd how the Newbie is also the teacher. Friend #1 (the driver) made note to me after the others had left the main floor how I had just interacted with multiple people and been ok. A couple firsts....and she was right, not horrid.

I actually inquired of Sensei at this point in the night what to do. It had been suggested I have a few more puffs before I go home. But I had not done that before. When alone I have my one time outside and take in enough to get swimmy headed then I pretty much go to bed to avoid contact with any of my kids. Should I actually have a second puff? It was three hours since we were at the park. Sensei’s advice was, if I’m enjoying my night and feel good, why not!? So, I did. Weirdly, I felt rebellious doing so. It was more than just A dose to help drive out depression. This was total recreational use at this point for me. I arrived home freshly high on the medical stuff. I headed straight for bed while being congratulated via text by Sensei for being out all night. I was in the house after midnight (no ones calling me old again!). My first night with people, and in front of multiple strangers, was a smokin’ success in my books. 

The next morning was a whole new ball of wax! I’ve had the head buzz remain after smoking the night before, but that is no longer happening now. Except, I’m pretty sure using the medical stuff had a different effect on me. I was still slightly high when I first woke, and then the buzz wasn’t the same at all. This time I was so ridiculously laid back and unmotivated to move that it took me three hours to pick up and put away a few books and papers in the living room so I could vacuum it. I didn't even consider getting dressed until after noon, and packing an overnight bag for our Valentines trip was painstakingly slow. I managed to not miss anything, thankfully. I felt the effect of the previous nights high until 2:30pm, and I liked it. Interacting with my kids and husband was not a problem. I could fully think and had no trouble with getting lost on a train of thought. Perhaps that is what a body high feels like? I recall being very thankful I didn't have to work that day, cuz there would have been NO WAY I could do that! My job involve too much moving at a fast pace.

Frankly, the whole experience only solidified even more my resolve to keep moving forward with the Medical Marihuana process.

So this will happen again. It was fun! Thanks ladies for a great evening of many firsts for me. 

My Visit to MFT

I wish I was Legal. I've heard it a few times now. So listen up, and I'll tell you.

I have the honour of knowing many people now who use marijuana as their medicine, legally or not. Whether they realized when they started that it would bring benefit into their lives or not, it eventually because medicinal for them. 
But this is Canada, so medical marijuana use is legal, if you can figure out how to go legal! That's the trick. I had no idea, but I knew that MFT would be a good place to start. It was Sensei’s confession of a desire to know the process too that really got me over my nerves and out the door. I always find it easier to do things for others instead of myself. So, whatever works…

It was a great experience! I found the staff very friendly and helpful when I showed up without an appointment. The most awkward part was talking to someone about smoking joints already, illegally, without using code words or speaking in hushed tones. They understood, they have all had to go through that same jarring experience. From illegal to legal changes your whole world.

After stammering through my questions about how can MFT help me I got a lot of good answers and came away knowing that I am exactly the right kind of person to get legal access to Cannabis. I walked out of there 20 minutes later with a file folder full of paperwork to fill out, a two item list of things to get, and the knowledge that once the process is started it will be only a matter of 3 weeks before I could have my first order in. Wow!

So here’s the low down. Marihuana For Trauma is Veterans helping Veterans. 
As a civilian MFT will work with us just as readily as they do for Vets, First Responders and serving military. 

A Skype date with the Doctor is set up about a week after all my paperwork is handed in. The paperwork includes permission to share information between doctor, MFT and the dispensary. A Patient Information sheet for the doctor, and an Application for the Cannabis Dispensary (MedReleaf), and an Application/Patient info for MFT. About 20 pages in all to fill out. Also, I must hunt down my medical records and provide the previous diagnosis of Depression and Osteoarthritis. I know I can do that. I have MRI proof of the OA, and I was once on anti-depressants for about two years. So that should also be in my medical records. I just have to call up the doctor I FIRED and pay them to give me my medical records. Oh! A list from the pharmacist should also be included. Do-able since I already have that somewhere in my tax papers from a couple years ago. Just time consuming, anxiety inducing phone calls and foot work. But in general, no big deal.

After the 45 minute Doctor Skype appointment at the MFT office it takes about another week to get the MMPR card. Upon receiving that I would go in and they will help me make my first purchase online from MedReleaf. The Cannabis Counsellors help you not only make your purchase but also help instruct you in usage. For me that will be great! I still do not yet have a good tolerance of the drug in my system so the suggestion was I might need to use every 4 hours at first to build that tolerance quickly. I’m not ashamed to say every 4 hours sounds a little scary to me…But if it must be done, I will do it…I am a determined woman! 

One of the last things I was told was if the cost of the appointment is prohibitive MFT is in the business of helping, not hindering our access to Medical Marihuana. They can work with me and put a payment plan in place if it’s needed. Secondly, the Medreleaf also can help with cost of purchasing the medical Cannabis. Nothing’s free of course, but knowing that the cost of the medical grade stuff doesn't have to be a prohibitive factor to accessing medicine reduces the stress of having to pay everything out of pocket.

The only thing I want to find out now is about taxes. Out of pocket medical expenses can be claimed on your yearly taxes. If I kept all the recipes from the purchase of Tylenol and Aleve I could claim those as well as the prescriptions I get from the pharmacy, after insurance pays. So would the cost of the doctors appointment and the purchase of medical grade marihuana be included in that tax break? Insurance doesn't cover any of it….I’m sure the Cannabis Counsellors can help answer that question for me when I get around to making my first purchase. So more on that later. 

If you are looking to go legal and have access to the good quality marihuana as well as various strains check out MFTgroup.ca. online or visit them in person. You will not regret it!

Dear Sensei

I use to work with my Sensei. Which was awesome cuz Sensei is a great person and often brought fun to an otherwise very busy and often exhausting work environment. But talking about anything important at work was near impossible. For this reason most of my conversations with Sensei were restricted to short bursts on a deep topic during a short break. 

 I allowed Sensei to introduce me to the magical herb. (I practically begged, actually). I felt a strong loyalty to Sensei because of their willingness to help me. I was surprised with the level of grace I received over my near panic most of the time. But no big deal was made about it. Sensei listened and encouraged, and helped. End of topic. 

 That is one of the reasons our friendship is still so very important to me. It goes beyond and before the whole Cannabis connection. I could not express to anyone just how much Sensei’s friendship still means to me. I've had trouble understanding it myself. I've fretted over it even, because I'm too much. I can easily overwhelm a person. I mean look! I'm writing a blog about my internal struggle over this friendship. Does anyone else do that!? 

It is a friendship that grew on the meeting of mind and spirit. Out of the desire to improve, grow and seek out truth. Still, when something happens I want to turn around and text Sensei all about it. I still hold back a lot, I used to feel guilty about it. Like it was wrong to want to communicate with this person, but I've recently come to realize that having a good friend with whom I feel comfortable communicating about anything is a gift. I am allowed to allow myself the enjoyment of, the luxury of a good friend, am I not? 

(What a sad, lonely and messed up life I've lived to think of friendship as a luxury!)

Really, from the first day I met this person I felt a connection to them. I didn’t understand why. Of course back then I was stupid enough to think it was because I was going to eventually convince them of their need for the God of the Bible. In the end Sensei became my saviour instead. Or to use an apparently very overused term, my Wonder-wall. Sensei was the one who was bold enough and gracious enough to be open to listen to me without judgement, go deep with me, inspire me and challenge me. Making me want to be a better person. Gifting me with a rare opportunity to learn what a good friend is. What friendship can look like. Gifting me with the experience that I can contribute to a conversation, or relationship without the experience of being rejected. Communication was easy with Sensei.
The time and effort was taken, and it made me feel valued. 

 So, to Sensei:

I miss you. I miss our deep but sporatic conversations. I've missed the friendship we had, and realize it was me who pulled away. Because I didn't understand, that I am allowed to have good, healthy friendships. I didn't know that I didn't think I was good enough to have that. 

Even though our paths are no longer traveling in the same general trajectory any more, I'm not wanting our friendship to fade. I'm not willing to let that happen. Every time something happens I want to turn around and tell you about it (I still resist a lot). Because you are a rare breed. You listen. Your interest and care for me, as just another human being is genuine. Somehow along the path of your life you have managed to loose much of ego. It is attractive, and it is inspiring! And I need more people in my life who inspire me like you do. 

Frankly, I'm sure this friendship is more one sided than I'd be proud to admit. I think I get way more out of our friendship then I can possibly give back. Sincerely, thank you for that.

So, FYI, I'm keeping you. 

J