Open Letter To Anyone Considering Cannabis

Dear First Timer

I know how weird it can feel to stand at the edge of your life looking over at a very strange option, Cannabis. Everything you have tried up until now has not made much difference in your life. But maybe, possibly...you hope, that something as radical as trying Cannabis will finally bring the change you so desperately want and more importantly need!

I'm here to tell you it will! It will change everything! It doesn't change the you who is deep down inside. The you who has been lost, covered up, and scarred by all the crap life has dealt you is still inside somewhere. She/he will again be found through Cannabis. All it does is melt away the pain, the stress, and the mental anguish that have so long been your ever present companions. They really are not worth hanging on to any longer than you already have.

I write from a similar perspective because I was there only six short months ago. But add on top of that the internal struggle I had because I am a Born Again, Baptized, Bible believing, tongues speaking, Holy Spirit filled Christian. I had a lot of stuff to shift through before I was able to make the leap. But next to giving my life to Christ this is the best decision I have ever made for my life. What do I mean by my life has changed? My marriage has changed! My ability to function at work has changed! My physical health has changed! My mental and emotional health has changed, and my family has changed! All for the better.

I could go on an entire day about how my life has improved and all the interesting facts about Cannabis, and the things I have learned in this new improved life of mine, but that would be boring.  Plus, you could just read the older posts in this blog. No, it's time to put your big toe in the water and let the rest of you slide in and relax.

Here's what to have before you start:
Time: Set aside about 2 hours at least, but best if you give yourself the whole afternoon or evening off. Call it ME time, if ya like.
Grab a non-alcoholic drink. Cold and thirst quenching is best.
Bring a snack. Anything will do, but I'm finding that salty seems to be the craving linked with cannabis use.
Bring an iPod, an android, or something to listen to music on.
Be prepared to go to bed, or take a nap

Here's whats going to happen:

Been gifted with a joint?

Take it outside on a nice evening or afternoon (cuz you don't want your house to smell) and while sitting in your most comfy deck chair light it up. If this is your very first time, take no more than two inhales, holding each for about 3 to 5 seconds before exhaling. Then gently butt out the joint and sit back for a few minutes.  Most strains of cannabis will take about 5 to 10 minutes to take effect when inhaled, only a limited few up to 20 or 30 minutes . Have a drink with you to counter this new and unpleasant taste, or cough. It's not pleasant for non-smokers but you can do it. I did.

Some of the things you may feel could include a tingling sensation in the head. Your heart might race. You might feel light headed, or dizzy. You might feel like talking a lot, or not at all (listen to that music you brought). You might get real hungry or thirsty (Ah! Snacks!)  If you feel nothing at all after 20 minutes (which sometimes happens - don't worry) light it up again and take another two inhales. When smoking (or vaping) the effects will last about 1.5 hours. Perhaps longer depending on how much you smoked and how fast or slow your metabolism is.

Just in case you smoked too much the first time (like I did) and you feel like it will never end, know that it will wear off and you will not feel like that forever. There is nothing to fear. No one has died from smoking cannabis (see how I felt when I REALLY overdid it one night). You will most likely want to go to sleep actually. Go ahead. And when you wake up you will feel normal again, but slightly prouder of your self for finally taking that first step.

Been gifted with (Coconut) Infused Oil?
This can be taken two different ways. Topical, which produces no high at all or eaten, which will produce a high.
If you are using it topically, rub it into the skin at the place most effected by pain/inflammation. From my experience I learned that I didn't notice any difference in the pain in my joints after rubbing it in for a week. So I stopped for two days. Those two days my joints were more sore than they had been all week while using the oil topically. I was convinced. It works. I did find it best to apply at least twice a day, especially when working since I'm on my feet all day.

The second way you can use Infused Oil is eating it, or baking with it. Most people make infused butter and bake with it. I have stopped using butter and only use Coconut oil now because it's more versatile and the coconut oil itself has health benefits. It is easy to use and store, it can be used on the skin, or in cooking, I can also melt it in my morning coffee.
If you are eating it for the first time, whether melted in a hot drink, or baked into something, or spread on toast here's what to do and what to expect. I suggest using the oil in a measured amount so you do not over do it. Very first time use no more than 1/8 tsp. If after an hour and a half you felt no different you can take a second dose of 1/8 tsp. Yes, that sounds like a tiny amount because it is. Better that than too much the first time. But remember it doesn't matter if you do take too much the first time, it will wear off eventually, most likely just make you very tired, and not much will happen except a REALLY good nights sleep! After my first experience (which by the way I over did everything because I didn't have anyone to tell me these things) I slept the entire night for the first time in years, and after I woke I felt happy, and like I had a hangover. For me my first experience with eating cannabis lasted 21 hours from start to finish. But I had had a lot! Way more than 1/4 tsp. The point though is that the sensation eventually left. And it didn't last at the same height the whole time either. The overall body sensation came on after an hour of eating, and peaked about a half hour later, lasting about 2 hours and then dissipated very slowly for about 3 more hours. The slight hangover feeling I had lingered but I was able to go to work and mostly ignore it. I definitely noticed when it just stopped, and I was no worse for wear.

On the topic of 'Is this going to harm me in any way?' No, it's not. So far from decades of human experience the adverse side effects of Cannabis use are feeling really hungry and making everything taste REALLY good (I now LOVE A&W Teen burgers), a lovely sense of euphoria, making music really good (worship improved for me too), and a really good sleep. When scientists discovered the
endocannabinoid system that the Cannabis uses to gain entry to our bodies it was also discovered that the only place without these receptors was the brain stem area which controls heart rate, breathing and all our autonomic functions. No receptors = no change. Other, more medically defined effects can include, but are by no means limited to....reduction in pain, reduction in inflammation, reduction or loss of tremors, shakes or spasticity, reduction in migraines, the arrest of glaucoma. Gains include, greater mobility, improved mood over all, better sleep, improved appetite, better sex life, and an improved outlook on life.

No, Cannabis will not take away the years of pain, or trauma suffered. But it will give you better perspective of the future. It will not remove your disorder, disease, or malady but it will improve your quality of life in ways you can hardly believe are possible right now, while you still sit on the fence. Take it from me, one who did everything about this process wrong yet still came out yelling the praises of this controversial medicine to anyone who will listen! When I look back at my life before, I cry. How hopeless and desperate I was back then! Oh, how wonderful and beautiful life is now! It's black and white next to Technicolor!

Have questions? Feel free to ask here, or find me on Facebook by the same name, NewbieOn TheHerb. It is open to the public because I'm about educating and helping others get free too.  Browse the old posts here on my blog. I have been brutally honest about every bit of my experience.

Then....dip that toe in and float!

Success!

 Well, I had the MOST surreal day yesterday! I had my doctor appointment yesterday with the man who would determine if I was a good risk to prescribe Medical Marijuana to. I was super nervous! Had trouble sleeping for the first time in three months since I started taking Cannabis regularly. I felt like I was going to be quizzed about why I wanted to make this jump. In my mind it’s not a huge leap, it’s a sensible one. But in society it is a big deal. Not everyone, in fact most would not understand this decision at all! But I’ve done my homework. I know the risks and benefits. 

I was so nervous I arrived a half hour early…if you know me, I’m always late. I don’t do early. Ever.  I was confused because the office I was going to was in a home with very little signage to tell me what to do….this was rubbing all over my anxiety about being in new places. I was greeted by a friendly familiar face and sat in a comfy sun lit living room. The other patient waiting looked more nervous then I felt, so I started to chat with him. Again, not a normal response for me. I’m usually WAY more shy than to just start talking to a stranger in a strange place.  Surprisingly, they offered a free allergy test…..I refused. In part because nothing is ever free, and second, I had an allergy test several years ago and knew I had allergies, which I take Reactin for daily, amoung other meds. I finally gave in when I found out allergies can come and go within as little as three months. 

My arm is now a mess. But, I had the BEST conversation with the young man

who did the allergy test for me. In fact the conversation was SO unlike the normal boring everyday conversations I have with most people that I realized my world is completely different from the way it was three months ago! Upside down, completely! I also realized I need more people in my life who think like he does. I’m craving relationship with deep and conscientious thinkers. I’m ready to change the world and be part of a new move that brings that about in some way. 

The result. I’m still highly allergic to everything I was seven years ago when I had my first test. The bad news is I’ve been buying, and taking medicine for SEVEN YEARS that is ineffective! I was not told my the initial doctor that the medication he was prescribing me would only be effective for me for about three or four months. I’ve been faithful purchasing a Big Pharm drug for SEVEN years longer than it was effective. A HUGH waste of money! It makes me SO mad!! So we talked about what would be effective, and how to reduce my allergies without meds. I have been empowered with knowledge. 

I finally got to meet the doctor at this point. He was a kind looking gentleman in his early 50’s I’d say. He looked Fatherly. We talked. I told him why I was interested in Cannabis for pain management. Given my diagnosis of torn cartilage and Osteoarthritis the prognosis is surgery in say 20 years to replace my knees. Twenty years is a very long time to subject your liver to high doses of multiple pain killers. In fact the pain killers could do damage to my kidneys or liver. I’ve already been on high doses of both Tylenol and Aleve for about four years now. The Doctor told me things like how over time my need for medical marijuana should decrease instead of increase due to the healing nature of the Herb. It stimulates cell regeneration and it decreases inflammation. Those two things alone will over time actually make my knees better instead of worse. Imagine!!! A medicine that actually helps to heal you rather than add new issues to deal with! 

The doctor tried to tell me further about how some strains are good for day, and others better for night. HAHA! The look on his face when I said, “Right, Indica and Sativa”. He was impressed I have educated myself. This is not something I’m just wanting to use to get high with. I really do want the medicinal benefits! I have done a lot of reading over the last three months. I even told him how surprised I was to hear that one of the Cannabidiol's found in Weed has been discovered to increase bone density. That is important info that may one day help my family with the Brittle Bone disorder they carry genetically. 

We talked about insurance! Whether or not either of our insurance companies cover this prescription he told me how to effectively push them to do so. I admitted I was willing to be a poster child, or an advocate for medical marijuana because of how much it has changed my life already. I even got a little teary eyed as I talked about how the negative talk that was my constant companion just left after trying weed three months ago. I can hardly remember what it was like anymore to always have that there. Such a big change in my life, it still causes me to well up when I even think about it. 

So, I’m approved. I will hear from the marijuana provider in a week or two with my Card number. Then I can order my product online from the supplier. I will  receive my legal document to possess with my first order. In the mean time, I’m heading out now to take a Cannabutter cooking class offered free at the MFTGroup, and I’ve got some learning to do about what Vapes are best. Because as the Doctor explained I will be dosing myself with a SINGLE puff every hour during the day, including at work and a personal hand held vape will be convent and leaves no smell behind for anyone to realize what I am consuming. Also perfect for home! 

Wow! Such a weird, and yet VERY wonderful day I had. 

Growing Pains

Every one gets them, or had them. Growing pains. Usually the idea of them though hovers over the young and still physically growing. Not so much over a woman in her mid 40’s. But, realistically, as you begin to expand in any area of life, be it physical, spiritual, emotional or even social, growing pains can occur. They are just called something different. Like sore muscles from body building (or aging), or spiritual awakening, an emotional breakdown, or even Midlife Crisis. Well, I’m definitely experiencing some growing pains of my own. And I think I’m on a fast track in doing so. 

Perhaps this is my Midlife Crisis. Deciding at 45 yrs old to try Marijuana for the first time. And I’m now even sizing up Salvia, MDMA, or another psychoactive to get some deep healing. But not right away. I’ve got lots of research to do still, not to mention some healing, and even growing. I still need to figure out who I am, why I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m sure at least one of those mentioned above will be part of my journey. Just not yet. 

Spiritually I am, I think, more on top of the ride rather than under it. I don’t feel torn, or even confused by the new direction I have chosen. Instead I feel empowered, awakened, and for the first time free! I saw this photo on HONY on Facebook with the quote, "I haven't felt guilt since I last had a belief system.” I got the impression he understood what I am feeling for the first time now. A lack of judgement. A lack of guilt. A lack of fear even. Instead, I am choosing to hang on to what has always drawn me to religion and spiritual experiences, the love. We, as humans are love, full of love, created by love, and for love. As an imperfect expression of this all encompassing love it needs to be my life long pursuit to express, and be love to the best of my ability. To not settle for fear of the unknown, or my inability to function in a situation but instead let the love that is in me overwhelm those other feelings to the point of motivation and action. The pursuit of love. Sounds simple enough….But I’m no longer fooled. It can be more complicated than you’d think when dealing with other underlying issues.

Emotionally I think I’ve hit a snag. On the surface I’m fine. Even a layer or two down I’ve got a handle on my normal crisis riddled life, now. But deeper than that something is stunted. I feel it. Like some huge wound that is just out of sight, waiting for me to trip over the jagged edge of it and fall right in. Amlost maliciously. I even suspect the issue stems from mother issues. Never feeling good enough for her. Never doing anything right in her eyes. It just seemed so backwards to me as a teen, especially. How I ended up being the one who did everything wrong, when I chose church and religious activities and my sister could do no wrong while she smoked, had many boyfriends, and even got caught by our mother having sex in our house at 17, I don’t think I’ll ever understand. I’ve always just tried to push memories like those out rather than confront them and deal with them. I think this is the first thing I really need to confront. It’s a scary thing to consider. The possibility that the gapping hole will swallow me and I’ll never find a way out of it might be remote, but the fear of that happening is tangible. I’m wanting to be bold and attack this. It will happen eventually. One bit at a time. Hopefully with help. But if no help is available it will still be worthwhile to pursue healing. And maybe I’ll learn I don’t need to find a hero other than the one in me. 

Socially I’m a high functioning idiot. I can do surface relationship really well. Trying to venture any deeper and I lose the ability to know what’s appropriate and what’s not. I usually come on way to strong. I have always smothered any relationship. If looking backwards tells me anything it says I have little to no experience with deep friendships. Really. I was not close to my sister, and the friends I had as a kid may have been within the neighbourhood and in my same classes, but the ridicule and exclusion I suffered from so many of them created a very shy and self conscious young woman. Anger too came from the feeling of powerlessness most likely. Depression also became a struggle due to the feeling of being rejected, and feeling alone. 

I somehow managed to get married, to another wounded person. So our marriage is functioning but I wouldn’t call it super successful. Frankly with as much crisis as this family has encountered, and the stress it created it’s a wonder we are still an intact family. We always had to deal with the crisis at hand and never had time to focus on how to have healthy relationships. It’s just easier now to just ignore, or put up with what I dislike since he’s a good man, and it’s not bad enough to fix, but not great enough to thrive. This area is far too sensitive to bring up any further. Too much pain.

Even I can see the tangled mess of one flowing into the next. They are all connected, making an endless loop. The emotional and social mess I am effect my spiritual life also. Why else would I always feel unable to please God?! No matter how hard I tried. Mentally beating myself up for not being good enough. Always hearing the words of Jesus in a tone of voice that burned with disappointment, and frustration, or anger, or annoyance. As hard as I tried. As much as I desired it, I could not hear Him saying anything in a loving tone, with a kind voice and a kind face. So I’ve stopped trying. I’ve stopped focusing on trying to feel loved and instead I’m focusing on giving love. 

So the tangled mess of everything does sometimes drown out the pleasures of everyday blessings. Thus I’ve become more aware and now I often make a conscious effort to enjoy the moments right in front of me. The choice to do so helps to keep everything else in perspective. When I use to focus on the mess, either on the inside, or the outside it just produced depression. Now, I am much more happy and fulfilled in my boring everyday life. Because in this boring everyday life there are some really fantastic moments, some really amazing friends, and some interesting experiences. The knowledge that I am now gathered into the greater good of this world, strategically placed to spread love and kindness to whomever my life encounters, to the best of my ability gives my everyday life purpose and meaning and joy. 

While I could very easily digress to the negative perspective as I have done for so long, now I chose differently. Sometimes that choice has to be made everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Other times I forget altogether. Eventually I remember to shift my focus to staying in the moment and being the Love I know I am. These are choices that have no attachment to a religion, a denomination, a creed, or a sect. But they do have a spectacular reaction in a humans life once they are choose.

I’m so glad I am waking up. 

It feels good to be present in my own life, instead of wishing it away.