Follow Up to My Cannabis Break

It was three weeks ago that I told you all I was taking a break from Cannabis. I think I've processed that week long enough. Time to tell you what happened.

I started this blog as a way to process the changes that I have been going through since starting Cannabis as my medicine. The desire to educate people grew the more I learned and realized how little actual truth about this herb is out there. 

I have to state, the changes that sometimes occur are not always medical, or physical. In my case I was very religious my whole adult life. Like, the kind of Christian who wouldn't let my kids watch Disney movies cuz they were full of witchcraft, or magic. I was THAT kind. I shutter, and have much regret for who I was back then. But I try to let the voice of wisdom speak louder and remind me that I only did the best I could with the knowledge I had back then. My best just happens to be better today then my best back then...that's all. (ok...it's not always better...I'm still a work in process.)

My last intake of cannabis in any form was a Friday night. I was off fully until Tuesday evening when I started to ingest it so I could sleep. I didn't start back to my day use, vaping and/or smoking until Saturday night a week later. It has taken these last two weeks to re-acclaimate and mentally/emotionally process all that has gone on internally.

I had a VERY bad first weekend. My biggest physical issue was restless legs, preventing me from sleeping. They hadn't actually start bothering me until day 2. But you can only go for so long without sleeping well. My other physical issues, pain, were easily dealt with by using Tylenol and Aleve. (These are the two drugs I've been on for years and the reason I started Cannabis in the first place was to get off them so as not to over stress my kidneys any further). My mental issues were mostly due to the ridiculous amount of stress I was under for a prolonger period of time. Years. And a big contributing factor was/is my ever present self doubt; doubting my judgment and well...everything. Much of this self doubt comes from the shame associated with my previous religiosity. (Not that church caused it, but rather for me it fed an already established shame and made it grow.)

A small example of how bad I was at the beginning of this pursuit; by the middle of the afternoon on the first Saturday I was literally packing all my cannabis related things into a box and hiding it all in my closet. Bongs, lighters, weed, printed material about cannabis, and my colouring page from #myTHCbox also went. I couldn't stand the sight of any of it so I cleared it out of sight completely. I was at the point of hating that I had ever started it. I deleted groups, and unfollower Cannabis community Facebook pages. I just couldn't have been more hateful towards cannabis.

By Tuesday afternoon I had pulled out a little weed to roll a joint and I start back eating my AVB with ice cream at bed time just so I could sleep. But I had still decided I'd not ever go back to using Cannabis as much as I had been. I could deal with the physical pain by using pharma products and I was willing to take the risk of damaging my kidneys. I got over that by the next Saturday.

My last day off weed was horrid. I was unable to think a positive thought. But by dinner I realized I was on a bad thought track and knew the only way to combat it was to grab my cannabis and get couch-locked! It worked too. Stress left. I calmed the fuck down and realized the sky was not falling. Next day I had the best Sunday a person could have.

And as I processed that weedless week I know that my emotional instability was not and is not caused by my Cannabis use. I really was under a crap load of situations. Most of which have now been resolved, thankfully! It just took a ridiculous amount of time. A couple issues remain, but I'm working on those with Mindfulness practices I learned in classes given by a medical Doctor here in the city; learning some new (and badly needed) coping skills, gaining insight into the causes of stress, and seeing a counsellor. I've spoken with both the M.D. and the counsellor about my shame issues that were fed and grew to huge proportions under the guise of a loving God and both have applauded me for getting out of something that caused me to feel so much shame. Unfortunately that doesn't remove some of the wrong beliefs I still have. That might take years to do in some cases. Some of those shame issues are what had me second guessing my original choice to start cannabis. So while I was six feet under all these major stressors recently those very shame issues were raising an even stronger opposition. But my week off helped clear up and remove the lack of trust I had in myself, at least regarding the issue of Cannabis as medicine!

What this whole week taught me:

The whole reason I took a weedless week was to see if cannabis was causing or creating more stress and drama in my life. I went through a strange week, denying its effectiveness first, accepting its medical use in one area of my life, and then embracing it fully again.

I've learned that Cannabis was not causing me to stress out, life was. Cannabis helps me realize what is no big deal so I can focus on what is.
I know that popping a low dose canna-cap of a Sativa/CBD mix allows me to chase the blues away. I don't feel any cerebral effects but I don't get dragged down by the time I've finished my first cup of coffee either, which can happen if I don't medicate effectively.
I know that I need to get more serious about keeping connected to the larger medical cannabis community. Not that there is anything wrong with the few people I've started to get to know, I just know they don't have all the answers either. Some of them are just as new (or newer) than me. But there is a world full of life-long medical cannabis patients who have a wealth of information that I want to learn from.

I know that I don't know enough about how to medicate properly for pain. I am still medicating with big pharma for pain and inflammation. I want and need to know more.
I'm also allowing myself some grace. My original pain issue was better for six months. I had more mobility and less restrictions due to pain since starting cannabis back December 2014. My new injury occurred mid August. It was intense! I was SO disappointed by the set back! So now, rather than being disappointed that I had to go back on big pharma drugs after I had only just gotten off of them I am learning to be ok with what is right now. Unfortunately I also badly sprained my ankle two weeks ago so I again had to increase my dose of pharma to the max while this newest injury heals. But giving myself a break (or grace) is exactly what I need to learn here, so I'm learning.

Although this may not have been the best way to do it, I do believe this break was a success. I've learned more about me, and what works for me because of it. And as a side note, three weeks out I have felt an internal shift recently that I'm hoping is permanent. It's a healthier perspective with less self doubt. If I went through a hellish week just for that it was well worth it!

Open Letter To Anyone Considering Cannabis

Dear First Timer

I know how weird it can feel to stand at the edge of your life looking over at a very strange option, Cannabis. Everything you have tried up until now has not made much difference in your life. But maybe, possibly...you hope, that something as radical as trying Cannabis will finally bring the change you so desperately want and more importantly need!

I'm here to tell you it will! It will change everything! It doesn't change the you who is deep down inside. The you who has been lost, covered up, and scarred by all the crap life has dealt you is still inside somewhere. She/he will again be found through Cannabis. All it does is melt away the pain, the stress, and the mental anguish that have so long been your ever present companions. They really are not worth hanging on to any longer than you already have.

I write from a similar perspective because I was there only six short months ago. But add on top of that the internal struggle I had because I am a Born Again, Baptized, Bible believing, tongues speaking, Holy Spirit filled Christian. I had a lot of stuff to shift through before I was able to make the leap. But next to giving my life to Christ this is the best decision I have ever made for my life. What do I mean by my life has changed? My marriage has changed! My ability to function at work has changed! My physical health has changed! My mental and emotional health has changed, and my family has changed! All for the better.

I could go on an entire day about how my life has improved and all the interesting facts about Cannabis, and the things I have learned in this new improved life of mine, but that would be boring.  Plus, you could just read the older posts in this blog. No, it's time to put your big toe in the water and let the rest of you slide in and relax.

Here's what to have before you start:
Time: Set aside about 2 hours at least, but best if you give yourself the whole afternoon or evening off. Call it ME time, if ya like.
Grab a non-alcoholic drink. Cold and thirst quenching is best.
Bring a snack. Anything will do, but I'm finding that salty seems to be the craving linked with cannabis use.
Bring an iPod, an android, or something to listen to music on.
Be prepared to go to bed, or take a nap

Here's whats going to happen:

Been gifted with a joint?

Take it outside on a nice evening or afternoon (cuz you don't want your house to smell) and while sitting in your most comfy deck chair light it up. If this is your very first time, take no more than two inhales, holding each for about 3 to 5 seconds before exhaling. Then gently butt out the joint and sit back for a few minutes.  Most strains of cannabis will take about 5 to 10 minutes to take effect when inhaled, only a limited few up to 20 or 30 minutes . Have a drink with you to counter this new and unpleasant taste, or cough. It's not pleasant for non-smokers but you can do it. I did.

Some of the things you may feel could include a tingling sensation in the head. Your heart might race. You might feel light headed, or dizzy. You might feel like talking a lot, or not at all (listen to that music you brought). You might get real hungry or thirsty (Ah! Snacks!)  If you feel nothing at all after 20 minutes (which sometimes happens - don't worry) light it up again and take another two inhales. When smoking (or vaping) the effects will last about 1.5 hours. Perhaps longer depending on how much you smoked and how fast or slow your metabolism is.

Just in case you smoked too much the first time (like I did) and you feel like it will never end, know that it will wear off and you will not feel like that forever. There is nothing to fear. No one has died from smoking cannabis (see how I felt when I REALLY overdid it one night). You will most likely want to go to sleep actually. Go ahead. And when you wake up you will feel normal again, but slightly prouder of your self for finally taking that first step.

Been gifted with (Coconut) Infused Oil?
This can be taken two different ways. Topical, which produces no high at all or eaten, which will produce a high.
If you are using it topically, rub it into the skin at the place most effected by pain/inflammation. From my experience I learned that I didn't notice any difference in the pain in my joints after rubbing it in for a week. So I stopped for two days. Those two days my joints were more sore than they had been all week while using the oil topically. I was convinced. It works. I did find it best to apply at least twice a day, especially when working since I'm on my feet all day.

The second way you can use Infused Oil is eating it, or baking with it. Most people make infused butter and bake with it. I have stopped using butter and only use Coconut oil now because it's more versatile and the coconut oil itself has health benefits. It is easy to use and store, it can be used on the skin, or in cooking, I can also melt it in my morning coffee.
If you are eating it for the first time, whether melted in a hot drink, or baked into something, or spread on toast here's what to do and what to expect. I suggest using the oil in a measured amount so you do not over do it. Very first time use no more than 1/8 tsp. If after an hour and a half you felt no different you can take a second dose of 1/8 tsp. Yes, that sounds like a tiny amount because it is. Better that than too much the first time. But remember it doesn't matter if you do take too much the first time, it will wear off eventually, most likely just make you very tired, and not much will happen except a REALLY good nights sleep! After my first experience (which by the way I over did everything because I didn't have anyone to tell me these things) I slept the entire night for the first time in years, and after I woke I felt happy, and like I had a hangover. For me my first experience with eating cannabis lasted 21 hours from start to finish. But I had had a lot! Way more than 1/4 tsp. The point though is that the sensation eventually left. And it didn't last at the same height the whole time either. The overall body sensation came on after an hour of eating, and peaked about a half hour later, lasting about 2 hours and then dissipated very slowly for about 3 more hours. The slight hangover feeling I had lingered but I was able to go to work and mostly ignore it. I definitely noticed when it just stopped, and I was no worse for wear.

On the topic of 'Is this going to harm me in any way?' No, it's not. So far from decades of human experience the adverse side effects of Cannabis use are feeling really hungry and making everything taste REALLY good (I now LOVE A&W Teen burgers), a lovely sense of euphoria, making music really good (worship improved for me too), and a really good sleep. When scientists discovered the
endocannabinoid system that the Cannabis uses to gain entry to our bodies it was also discovered that the only place without these receptors was the brain stem area which controls heart rate, breathing and all our autonomic functions. No receptors = no change. Other, more medically defined effects can include, but are by no means limited to....reduction in pain, reduction in inflammation, reduction or loss of tremors, shakes or spasticity, reduction in migraines, the arrest of glaucoma. Gains include, greater mobility, improved mood over all, better sleep, improved appetite, better sex life, and an improved outlook on life.

No, Cannabis will not take away the years of pain, or trauma suffered. But it will give you better perspective of the future. It will not remove your disorder, disease, or malady but it will improve your quality of life in ways you can hardly believe are possible right now, while you still sit on the fence. Take it from me, one who did everything about this process wrong yet still came out yelling the praises of this controversial medicine to anyone who will listen! When I look back at my life before, I cry. How hopeless and desperate I was back then! Oh, how wonderful and beautiful life is now! It's black and white next to Technicolor!

Have questions? Feel free to ask here, or find me on Facebook by the same name, NewbieOn TheHerb. It is open to the public because I'm about educating and helping others get free too.  Browse the old posts here on my blog. I have been brutally honest about every bit of my experience.

Then....dip that toe in and float!