I OD'd on THC

Well this is certainly not a topic I set out to write about, or experience. It's embarrassing to say the least! But I did over do it and I'm still alive and sane to talk about it. So, as per usual I'm using this experience to help educate those who are seeking information.

First off. I didn't die. Didn’t even come close! I didn't go crazy. I didn't try to hurt anyone, and I didn't run around my city, street, house or anywhere else talking nonsense or trying to jump off bridges. I didn't even need to go to the hospital. Whatever your preconceived notion is that could go wrong did not. All that did happen was I went to bed. Boring, eh? 

Here's everything I did wrong. 

The other night after work I made the family some banana bread. Most of the way through the process I decided this would be a great time to try using some of the AVB (already vaped bud) in some baking and then I could blog about it. With the batter ready I filled one large loaf pan and two small ones with normal batter. I added my finely ground AVB to the left over batter and made my own mini loaf. Alas, I was not my normal careful self. I got sloppy. 

I had assumed that AVB was not as strong as freshly

de-carbed bud. Correct, but WRONG!  The 1/8 cup (...Yes, I said cup!) of AVB I added was WAY too much for the TINY loaf pan I had. Oh, but it smelled heavenly! Here’s where I REALLY went wrong…I ate two pieces. It was a small loaf, I thought, one slice is like a half of a regular slice. No problem!  
Oh, yeah….then I had a half joint right after cuz that’s the habit I’ve gotten into each evening before bed. 

The result? By the time I got back home from our evening walk around the block it was rounding the hour from when I had eaten the AVB Banana Bread. I started to feel dizzy, had difficulty seeing straight and I just started to feel generally bad. This was when it dawned on me that I had eaten too much. I decided to put myself to bed right away. I was able to behave normally, nobody knew I had over done it at all nor was I mentally incapacitated. Though I did fall asleep pretty quickly. (It's taken my describing this twice to my husband for him to realize I wasn't just normal sick that night, I was over-dose sick).

Poor guy!

Normal bodily functions woke me twice in the middle of the night (unlike overdoing it with alcohol and literally pissing yourself in a drunken sleep). It was the middle of the night when I noticed my mouth really tasted bad! Like I had eaten an ashtray, all of it! Teeth brushing and mouthwash only lessened this nasty taste for a little while. It was like the taste was coming from the inside of me rather than from something I had put in my mouth. 

The next morning I got up for work, but still felt horrid. Nauseated actually. I got ready anyway, but standing looking at the door to leave was as far as I could get. It was my own fault I felt like this and I deserved to feel this way for being so stupid. But the people at work did not deserve to have me bale on them cuz I was stupid….I called in anyway and was pretty much in tears as I told the supervisor I couldn’t leave the house for fear of throwing up. The deed done, I stripped off my uniform and fell back into bed, make-up on and all. That’s where I remained for several hours, slipping in and out of sleep and often wondering if I should run for the toilet; was this going to be the time I finally threw up? I never did, but the feeling persisted for the better part of two days. And the taste that lingered contributed to the nausea. 

For those who don't understand, and may think I'm exaggerating, or may think I didn't actually over dose, let’s recap…. I literally used more AVB in a small 1/3 sized loaf pan than I should have for a whole recipe. That's nearly 8 times more than I should have eaten in one sitting. 

Things that happened when I over dosed on THC:

1. I got dizzy
2. I had trouble seeing well (This strain of bud that I used is known to counter the eye pressure of glaucoma. I figure this explains my vision problems)
3. I fell deeply asleep.
4. I was nauseated and had little desire to eat for about 48 hours.

What did NOT happen when I over dosed on THC:

1. I did not die
2. I did not fall into a drug induced coma, preventing me from waking to my own bodily needs
3. I didn’t attempt suicide (or attempt self propelled flight)
4. I did not lose my sanity. 

I did throw out the rest of my medicated banana bread though. Just the smell of it made me sick. And the thought of attempting to bake with AVB is not as exciting as it once was. I’m still saving it mind you. I can’t bring myself to throw it out though. Its extremely economical to save it and use it on an edible fire cracker or something. It’s like free THC! You use it once to medicate, save it and use it again with just almost as much benefit.

Just heed my warning, as non-life threatening as OD’ing on THC is, it’s not necessarily pleasant. That goes for smoked, vaped, or eaten. Though I think it’s easier to over do it with edibles for two reasons, it takes so long to kick in, and unless you do the actual math you don’t know how much medicine you’re eating. So, please! Be aware of what you eat. 'Measure twice, cut once' are my fathers wise words that could apply here just as easily as they do to most of life's little odd jobs. 

So tread lightly friends, and be diligent with measuring out your medicines, especially with edibles! But know too, in case you do hit a snag like I did, this too shall pass and you will live!

What I'll be doing from now on is using a method more like this...

AVB Weed Recipes. 

              Happy medicating.

(P.s. Thanks Chef Luigi for making this great video!)

Cannabis Culture Vs. the Pot Culture

I had a short conversation via text the other day with a friend about the oddity that is my life right now. How I'm stuck between the Cannabis Culture and the Hippie High.

See I'm a new breed of Pot smoker. I don't call it Pot, and I don't (usually) smoke it. Admittedly I feel a sense of importance to the new Cannabis Culture that is arising. Why? I'm not really sure. I've never grown it so have no helpful tips of the trade. I don't sell it, and so have no secret insider information. I'm no scientist so I can't tell you any groundbreaking new discoveries. Heck! I've only started using in December of 2014. I think it has more to do with the importance one person can make when they stop believing the propaganda and learn something from experience instead. It also has to do with being a woman involved, in a small way, in a new revolution. I've never felt so important actually! (if only Rona Ambrose really knew from experience, perhaps she'd lighten up too and start making a positive difference!)


That conversation I had started like this....
Me: ....the whole stoner culture intrigues me cuz I'm not really part of it. Everything I do is measured and dosed and picked based on relief of symptoms. And done alone. I don't often get the chance to indulge in the freedom of just having a toke and a talk with a friend.

That right there sums up the Cannabis Culture Vs. the Pot Culture


Thankfully my friend calmed my slight paranoia that evening and let me know I did nothing wrong by immediately seeing a simple drive home one evening after work as an appropriate time to pass a joint her way (whew). Navigating this new life is sometimes easy and other times I have no grid for what's right, wrong or otherwise. My Cannabis use is for medicinal reasons. But it's fun to cross that line and just get blasted too. I've had to learn everything I know by myself. Whether it was through Youtube videos or reading articles from HighTimes, or The Stoners Cookbook. I've taught myself how to roll joints, blunts, make butter/oil and what paraphernalia is best, worse, or most useful. I can also discuss the finer points of Cannabis science that has so far exceeded everyones else's limits I know. This is what the new breed of Stoner looks like. Like a 40-something working mother trying to live life to its fullest cuz hiding from it in alcohol, pills or seclusion just weren't working for me anymore.



This is Cannabis use in the selfie culture! Everything done alone. A quick search of Puff Puff Pass in Google images bears no group photos. I have one photo of myself smoking from a pipe, but the full photo won't be seeing the light of this or any other computer. At least not yet, I'm still a closet cannabis user. But I do have rather a lot of photos of the different strains I've bought, blunts I've rolled, the cookies I've made, and the stuff I've bought (many of these photos can be found on my public Facebook page of the same name). All of it done alone. So am I taking pictures to prove I can do it? Maybe, but I tell myself its for my blog. I also do it to educate. I'm not the only Mid 40's woman out there who has just embarked on a new Cannabis way of life. If I can do it, so can anyone!

It is a strange thing being on one side of the coin but having grown up "seeing" another side, the old culture. The Hippie Pot culture. What some refer to as Stoner culture. Where a group of people gather, pass a few joints around, share some peace, ideas, and free love. Really, they were doing exactly what still needs to happen today. Sharing life together in real and meaningful ways. Having community. Something sorely lacking in todays fast paced selfie culture. But is it dying out? Is the Stoner Culture being transformed along with our laws, regulations and knowledge of the Cannabis plant? Will any of the original Pot Culture hang on through this transition and stay firmly fixed in spite of the new solitary places we find ourselves? I guess that's really up to us to determine. I for one do not want to lose the good old days that I have still yet to experience, but would rather see it merged with the new.

A Short But True Story

Hello Lovelies! I have missed posting to my blog over this last month. I hardly feel Newbie-ish enough anymore to feel comfortable with my blog name now. I obviously wasn’t thinking ahead at all when I choose that name. 

Well, here’s a first. Writing a blog post buzzed and on the way to baked. I’m telling you, short sighted!

So quickly, I apologize for being off here for so long. Had an extended hospital trip pre-planned for a surgery for one of my children, so we were away and distracted for 20 days this month. She’s alright and recovering fine. Just trying to manage pain and lack of energy while healing. And I won't get started on my rant about pain meds here! I need to be fully devoted for a day to be able to hash out that topic. Tonight I planned on leaving you with a few funny stories that happened in the last few weeks. 

The night view from hotel.

While away in Montreal for this hospital trip the Shriners from our home city booked and paid for our hotel (as well as the flight there and back. Support your local Shriners club! They do Great work!). Everything was walking distance! I loved living there the better part of a month. Once my daughter had surgery she was admitted and I remained in the hotel since that is also where she would be discharged too for a few days until the first doctor appointment…too much detail….sorry. So I would sleep at the hotel and walk all of two and a half blocks back and forth to the hospital each day. To finish setting up the scene, the side street I walked for two blocks crossed over a very main street in Montreal. And by main I mean full of people day and night. Many business men and women, and lots of poor hung around there too, pan handlers and street people even. A bit sad, and yet I loved every face, language and nuance that my senses could take in. I would watch people as I walked behind or past them. To see their clothing styles and which language they were speaking (many english as there is an english college close by).

One very warm evening I left the hospital around 10:30pm and headed back to the hotel. Every time I got off the hospital property I would pull out my Pax Vape (Ah! I have to tell that storey!) and take a few inhalations from my medical marijuana. Which sounds cool, but walking and holding your breath isn’t easy, but it got easier. This evening I did the same thing. I approached the main intersection and had to wait for the walk signal. I had been holding my breath, and as I halted I exhaled slowly only to look around and see four walking police men and women just coming up behind me at the same crossing point where I was standing and exhaling marijauna vapour! There was nothing I could do except act natural, which was surprisingly easy to do. 

The light seemed to take forever to change, but the longer I waited the more I noticed nothing happening. IF they noticed the smell they may not have known who it had come from. It’s a common smell on that street specifically. But I really wasn’t worried about it. Which got me thinking later how completely unafraid I am of being noticed vaping it by police. I had my prescription bottle on me and my MMJ card also. And frankly, who dry herb vapes marijuana recreationally? I bet absolutely no body! Act naturally and no one notices. Act awkward, or shifty and someone will notice! 

Which reminds me of another short story from my trip. While with my daughter before she was admitted we had the privilege of hanging out together in a big, busy, noisy, city full of LOTS of shopping and amazing restaurants. One afternoon after a full day of walking and shopping we stopped into the Starbucks around the corner from our hotel to refuel me. I needed caffeine, and my poor feet needed bandaids! We sat for a glorious half hour. Long enough for me to discover my herb was well used and ready to be refilled with fresh. I didn’t want to wait to hobble back to the hotel so I dumped the two thimble sized amount of cooked herb out of the little oven compartment and into the garbage hole at the milk and lid counter. I returned to my seat and when my daughter excused herself I took out my MedReLeaf plastic prescription bottle, scooped out already ground herb with the larger end of the green splash stick (my tool of choice actually). Right there in a packed Starbucks, at a window table I gently packed the little oven and attached the lid/bottom, then put everything away. If anyone noticed me I’m sure it looked like nothing more than someone packing tobacco or just a lady with a medicine bottle. I had it all done and away before my daughter returned to the table. 

So apparently I have no fear at all of being seen. In fact! This 20 days away in another city was very liberating! I could walk around the streets, with my daughter, and vape in public. No one I know was there to see me. I had legal permission to have marijuana on me, and use it. Maybe I am innocent enough to think I’m safe from police harassment, and that gives me false security. Don’t know. But until I experience anything different, I’m walking tall, and proud and free to use where ever I am (except the kids school grounds….I’ll refrain there!). Cuz I am just one in a new breed of women on the rise; and I will be an honest, and outspoken advocate for medical marijuana use. 

Obviously I’ve got lots to still fill ya’s all in about. So keep watch here. Or subscribe to get updates of when I post and then you won’t miss out on any of this weird and wonderfully happy new journey I have embarked on. 

Sleep Sweet! I know I will…

Twenty-forth Day In A Row

I shocked my husband tonight. I was showing him my new art doodling book, and how I’ve started to stretch my creative abilities. I find it very hard to doodle. Always have. I explained that cannabis can be a creativity booster, so when I get the chance while high I am drawing, or writing. Cuz I find that comes easier too.  Anyway, not to get too far off topic, the point was I surprised my husband, with my answer to his question. He asked if I was currently high, which I wouldn't say I am, but I’m still feeling a bit of a buzz. 'Nope, but I have been every day for the last 24 days in a row.' He hesitated. I saw it. I love that he can't tell when I am high. That means I’m not over doing it. I’m not obvious, and it also means that the kids can’t tell either, if my husband can’t….well. I’m hoping they can’t. 

I’ve been keeping track of each dose since I started back in mid December. I

use my Period Tracker App on my phone. I have been generally keeping track of what form I take it in, and what number dose this is. Not so much my reactions. Which is what I will have to start doing once I get the card and start with my actual medicinal strains. Its recommended that you keep a dairy of the strain you use, the method you used to take your dose, and what side effects they cause. This is good to do so you are aware of your body, and what issue the cannabis strain addresses, and if its more effective by smoking, vaping or ingesting. So, I haven’t been that diligent yet. But I will be. 

So today is day 24 in a row. I have enough cookies to get me well past day 30, which is my current goal. It started off with a walk and a J the first night. The next day was my baking day. I was so gone that day! Ate too much for sure! When I got to the end of the first week of having dosed each evening I realized how easy it was. Knowing that I will be having to dose daily and maybe even multiple times a day once I get my medical prescription I decided to just keep going and see what happens. I have learned how much is too little, and how much is too much. I’ve even dosed myself like I would with Tylenol while I’ve been sick this last week. Four days at home with a bad cold is only fun when you eat pot cookies! I would have between 1/3 and 1/2 a cookie, depending on the size of the cookie, in the morning, then about every 2 or 3 hours again. It kept me functioning and able to get up and do what chores and errands needed doing on those days. I’m still trying to run a household, so I had to get some shit done and the cookies were a great help in letting me do that. 

Have I mentioned yet just how much I LOVE edibles?!!? It just makes taking my herb SO much easier! It also takes care of the question of dosing. I can tell how much I’m taking, reduce the amount easily, or increase it. Plus, ya know, not being a smoker makes smoking a joint still complex for me. I’m sure I’m just wasting a lot of weed. But those cookies tho'! Speaking of joints, I guess that’s what I’m going back to for a while once these cookies are gone….what am I going to do!?? I guess, I’ll have to learn the crockpot method of making the butter myself. 

My doctor appointment is nearly here! This Thursday I get to see the doctor who will hopefully prescribe medical marijuana for me. I feel like I’m about to go for a test. If I don’t pass I’ll be relying on my current friends for help. If I do pass, and get the Permission to Possess licence then I’ll be on my own I guess. Able to order my own without guidance, or assistance. No middle man…..

Speaking of being alone. I do find it a bit odd to be A) the Newbie, and B) one who is not in it for purely recreational reasons. Maybe, given I know a few stories, neither were the people I know into it for purely recreational reasons at first. Getting high every day for the last 24 days has been an interesting experience. Most of the time I’ve been low dosing. Keeping me awake and functioning while home. On the other hand, I have been waking up wanting to just have another cookie. I restrain if I have to go to work and just wait until I get home. But, I can’t wait to get home! Purely medicinal reasons really….but enjoying the benefits for sure! 

I’m sure once I get off the skunk and onto some high quality medical grade stuff there will be a difference. The side effects will be different, and the high will be different. My slight tolerance I’ve been working on will probably go to pot (….ok! Hold the phone! Where is that saying from?!!? and what does it mean?) Thank you Urban Dictionary!

Well, at any rate, I’ll have some news for ya all after Thursdays appointment. Until then I’m keeping happy, and trying to keep healthy. If it doesn't go well I’ll be looking to Sensei pretty soon for some more. I might have to anyway, depending on how quick or how slow the next two steps will be. What’s also weird, is how the idea of going independent feels so forlorn.

Growing Pains

Every one gets them, or had them. Growing pains. Usually the idea of them though hovers over the young and still physically growing. Not so much over a woman in her mid 40’s. But, realistically, as you begin to expand in any area of life, be it physical, spiritual, emotional or even social, growing pains can occur. They are just called something different. Like sore muscles from body building (or aging), or spiritual awakening, an emotional breakdown, or even Midlife Crisis. Well, I’m definitely experiencing some growing pains of my own. And I think I’m on a fast track in doing so. 

Perhaps this is my Midlife Crisis. Deciding at 45 yrs old to try Marijuana for the first time. And I’m now even sizing up Salvia, MDMA, or another psychoactive to get some deep healing. But not right away. I’ve got lots of research to do still, not to mention some healing, and even growing. I still need to figure out who I am, why I am and what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m sure at least one of those mentioned above will be part of my journey. Just not yet. 

Spiritually I am, I think, more on top of the ride rather than under it. I don’t feel torn, or even confused by the new direction I have chosen. Instead I feel empowered, awakened, and for the first time free! I saw this photo on HONY on Facebook with the quote, "I haven't felt guilt since I last had a belief system.” I got the impression he understood what I am feeling for the first time now. A lack of judgement. A lack of guilt. A lack of fear even. Instead, I am choosing to hang on to what has always drawn me to religion and spiritual experiences, the love. We, as humans are love, full of love, created by love, and for love. As an imperfect expression of this all encompassing love it needs to be my life long pursuit to express, and be love to the best of my ability. To not settle for fear of the unknown, or my inability to function in a situation but instead let the love that is in me overwhelm those other feelings to the point of motivation and action. The pursuit of love. Sounds simple enough….But I’m no longer fooled. It can be more complicated than you’d think when dealing with other underlying issues.

Emotionally I think I’ve hit a snag. On the surface I’m fine. Even a layer or two down I’ve got a handle on my normal crisis riddled life, now. But deeper than that something is stunted. I feel it. Like some huge wound that is just out of sight, waiting for me to trip over the jagged edge of it and fall right in. Amlost maliciously. I even suspect the issue stems from mother issues. Never feeling good enough for her. Never doing anything right in her eyes. It just seemed so backwards to me as a teen, especially. How I ended up being the one who did everything wrong, when I chose church and religious activities and my sister could do no wrong while she smoked, had many boyfriends, and even got caught by our mother having sex in our house at 17, I don’t think I’ll ever understand. I’ve always just tried to push memories like those out rather than confront them and deal with them. I think this is the first thing I really need to confront. It’s a scary thing to consider. The possibility that the gapping hole will swallow me and I’ll never find a way out of it might be remote, but the fear of that happening is tangible. I’m wanting to be bold and attack this. It will happen eventually. One bit at a time. Hopefully with help. But if no help is available it will still be worthwhile to pursue healing. And maybe I’ll learn I don’t need to find a hero other than the one in me. 

Socially I’m a high functioning idiot. I can do surface relationship really well. Trying to venture any deeper and I lose the ability to know what’s appropriate and what’s not. I usually come on way to strong. I have always smothered any relationship. If looking backwards tells me anything it says I have little to no experience with deep friendships. Really. I was not close to my sister, and the friends I had as a kid may have been within the neighbourhood and in my same classes, but the ridicule and exclusion I suffered from so many of them created a very shy and self conscious young woman. Anger too came from the feeling of powerlessness most likely. Depression also became a struggle due to the feeling of being rejected, and feeling alone. 

I somehow managed to get married, to another wounded person. So our marriage is functioning but I wouldn’t call it super successful. Frankly with as much crisis as this family has encountered, and the stress it created it’s a wonder we are still an intact family. We always had to deal with the crisis at hand and never had time to focus on how to have healthy relationships. It’s just easier now to just ignore, or put up with what I dislike since he’s a good man, and it’s not bad enough to fix, but not great enough to thrive. This area is far too sensitive to bring up any further. Too much pain.

Even I can see the tangled mess of one flowing into the next. They are all connected, making an endless loop. The emotional and social mess I am effect my spiritual life also. Why else would I always feel unable to please God?! No matter how hard I tried. Mentally beating myself up for not being good enough. Always hearing the words of Jesus in a tone of voice that burned with disappointment, and frustration, or anger, or annoyance. As hard as I tried. As much as I desired it, I could not hear Him saying anything in a loving tone, with a kind voice and a kind face. So I’ve stopped trying. I’ve stopped focusing on trying to feel loved and instead I’m focusing on giving love. 

So the tangled mess of everything does sometimes drown out the pleasures of everyday blessings. Thus I’ve become more aware and now I often make a conscious effort to enjoy the moments right in front of me. The choice to do so helps to keep everything else in perspective. When I use to focus on the mess, either on the inside, or the outside it just produced depression. Now, I am much more happy and fulfilled in my boring everyday life. Because in this boring everyday life there are some really fantastic moments, some really amazing friends, and some interesting experiences. The knowledge that I am now gathered into the greater good of this world, strategically placed to spread love and kindness to whomever my life encounters, to the best of my ability gives my everyday life purpose and meaning and joy. 

While I could very easily digress to the negative perspective as I have done for so long, now I chose differently. Sometimes that choice has to be made everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. Other times I forget altogether. Eventually I remember to shift my focus to staying in the moment and being the Love I know I am. These are choices that have no attachment to a religion, a denomination, a creed, or a sect. But they do have a spectacular reaction in a humans life once they are choose.

I’m so glad I am waking up. 

It feels good to be present in my own life, instead of wishing it away.