A Retrospective: Not So Newbie Anymore

I have a confession to make. I'm a medical cannabis user.

Being a medical cannabis user is entirely different from being a recreational user, or an occasional user.

Using marijuana medically takes a whole new level of commitment. And not just from you, but also from the ones you live with and the medical professionals who support you. Strangely enough it takes a community of support for a person to be a medical marijuana patient, so I realize I'm contradicting myself when I say that. I have complained before that being a MMJ patient is a lonely place to be because I have had chosen to learn so much alone.

Hubby "hot boxed" the Barn!

I focused on the 'doing things alone' and so sought out others who also smoke marijuana. Whether it was recreational or medical use wasn't an issue for me. I wanted to experience the culture of puff, puff, pass. And I totally have! But I eventually came to the realization that I was sorely lacking in one side of my support system. I had no one else around me who was a medical user and I was starting to feel that lack.



It took nearly a year of reading, discussion and documentary watching to come to the terrifying decision to try Cannabis in the first place. It has been nearly a year of using it now, but somewhere along the way I stopped reading, talking and learning. The reason was because I knew more than everyone else in my  immediate circle about cannabis. I'm no scholar! I know I really know very little on such a vast yet vastly under scientifically studied subject! But any time I tried to have conversations with someone about the science, or the effects, or even the politics of marijuana usually left me exhausted from talking so much. I'd have to back tract all the time, needing to first explaining three other articles I read that somehow related to the topic that was on my mind at the time. Eventually I just stopped learning all together since I didn't have anyone to converse with about the things I was learning.

THAT was lonely! So I ignored that part of my life and just eventually got off track.

Then I meet a real newbie, and that changed everything!

meme and picture are my originals

A friend introduced me to someone who has been a secret pot smoker most of her 45+ years. Nice lady. Some stuff started to dawn on me as we smoked. Like when she was surprised to hear that it is impossible to die from an overdose of pot. I wondered why, if you actually thought something could kill you, why would you ever smoke it?!! But then again I'm not much of a risk taker in life; proven by a full year of learning before asking the one person I knew for a try.

It was my second encounter with her that really woke me up to where I had allowed myself to slip to. Pure coincidence that she was part of it actually. A common friend invited us out to a bar to see a great local band one evening. Not having those invitations often I jumped at the offer and said yes. "Oh, could you do us a favour and roll us a joint, we'll pay your way in and your drinks". I almost hesitated. But when we sit around a table we all pitch in so I didn't really worry about it. It wasn't until we arrived and the ladies had to find a hidden corner to light their newly acquired joint before they went in, that I realized my blunder.

They had to hide. I did not.
I had with me my vape, and my licence from my mmj provider. As long as I followed the laws regarding smoking I was fully allowed to stand outside the bar and use my vape, or smoke a joint if I choose, no fear. Then it dawned on me that I had given them that weed, and by mere association in that situation I could be in trouble legally. It was THAT moment I realized I needed to smarten up, and pay more attention. I recognized I needed to include more people in my life who were likeminded and pursuing a similar life path. I needed a medical marijuana community and I needed to get over my fear of doing that.

So here I am. Not so much of a Newbie as I once was, and again actively learning. I wouldn't give up
my Barn buddies for the world! They have been a big and wonderful part of my life over the last year!  To round out my support system I have now been to two meetings at my local MFT and met some wonderful military and non-military women who are also new medical marijuana users. That's a total of four things I have in common with them right there! It took a lot to get into that first meeting. Lots of will power over the fear that was trying to escalate to terror. But I did it, and I am SO very glad I dared to be brave.

Its been a very unexpected and wonderfully stretching first year. Here's looking at a second year of building new friendships, deepening my understanding of how best to medicate for me as well as understanding the issues and the science behind Cannabis as a whole in general. I don't want to be a simple follower, or user. I want what I do to matter.  But I will just have to see where year two takes me.
I know one thing for sure! I intend to be more pursuant regarding life and less reactive.

Bring on Year TWO!